Waiting For Something Wonderful
by LadyEllaRose
Summary: Fresh from graduate school, Bella Swan takes a job in the library of a private Chicago high school and gets more than she bargained for after a chance encounter with the school's temperamental music teacher. AU/AH, BxE, rated M for language/adult themes
1. The First Morning

2/07/09 - I have not abandoned this story--I intend to continue as soon as I am able. I do work full time and am taking three graduate-level classes, so my time is severely limited right now. Please understand, I will get the next chapter out as soon as I have the time.

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

________________________________________________________________________

"_And we're back! It's now 6:00am and looks like another beautiful, balmy day here in Chicago; temperatures should reach the high seventies by this afternoon, which should make for a great first day back to school for all you students out there."_

Groaning, I reached over and switched the alarm clock off, wishing I hadn't set it to the radio instead of the blaring alarm. The morning DJs in the city were far too chipper for this hour, and hearing that it was going to be amazingly gorgeous outside today was _not_ helping my reluctance to get out of bed. A whole day, stuck inside a sweltering high school with hoards of teenagers whose only wish was for school to hold off starting for just one more day? Yeah, that sounded like loads of fun.

I turned over, hoping I could catch just a few more minutes of sleep—but instead of rolling towards the wall, I rolled right out of bed and hit the hardwood floor of my bedroom with a loud crash._ OUCHfuckfuckfuck. _I still wasn't used to my new apartment and or the new bedroom layout and I was pretty sure there were going to be bruises sprouting up in unfortunate places before long.

"Okay, Swan, quit being a ditz and get the hell up off the floor." Talking to myself was probably not going to win me any awards for sanity, but it at least got me back up on my feet and stumbling towards the bathroom. After a shower and a fresh change of clothes, I felt slightly more human, though I still needed coffee to complete my morning routine.

Thankfully, my father had gifted me with an absolutely ridiculous coffee maker as one of my going-away presents, so there was fresh coffee waiting for me in a travel mug when I finally made it into the kitchen. I think Charlie was secretly trying to make up for all the mornings of bad, cheap instant coffee I'd drank at home while I was in high school. I was certainly ready to forgive him for that if it meant all I ever had to do was set the timer and fill the machine with water and coffee before I went to bed.

Clicking the lid onto the travel mug, I grabbed my messenger bag off the counter where I'd set it the night before, double-checked that my keys, cell phone, and wallet were inside, and then headed out the door. It was still only about 6:45 or so, but I had a long commute on the Red Line to look forward to, and it would be better to be extremely early than slightly late for the first day of classes. I'd already been at St. Martin's for almost a week, helping the head librarian get everything together before school began, but today would be our first day with the students and I was hoping to not make a complete ass of myself.

St. Martin's was a private high school in downtown Chicago, just a block from the north edge of the Loop, right on the river. I'd been ridiculously lucky to get this job straight after I finished my master's degree—it paid more than double what I'd been making at home, and they hadn't cared about my lack of experience. I was only a library assistant, which meant that I'd spend most of my time checking out books to the students and shelving the returns, but anything was an improvement from the sporting goods store I'd been working at in Forks every summer since high school.

So far, I was pretty pleased with my new position. Mrs. Jackson, the librarian, had been very kind to me since my arrival; she was widowed and without children, so I had the feeling she was going to mother me as much as she could, which was fine since my own mother was too scatterbrained to remember she had a daughter most days. And I'd made one very amusing friend on my very first day—Alice Whitlock, the college prep counselor.

Of course, I was ridiculously shy and nervous at the daunting task of making new friends. I hadn't talked to anyone on my first day except Mrs. Jackson and Alice, who had nearly jumped across one of the tables to introduce herself in the staff lounge. I still didn't know quite what to make of the tiny, bubbly woman, who immediately insisted that we were going to be great friends and invited me to dinner with her husband that evening.

As nervous as I had been about Alice's enthusiasm, I was equally put at ease by her husband Jasper, a tall blonde Southern gentleman who treated me with gentle courtesy even as Alice bounced around us in glee. It was clear from the moment I saw them together how in love Alice and Jasper were, and it made me more than a little wistful for the day that I would find that kind of happiness with another person.

Our dinner (made by Jasper, who was a surprisingly talented cook) was spent in easy conversation, and I found myself opening up to my new friends as we talked about our childhood, college experiences, and occupations. Jasper was an actor and was starring in a production of Shakespeare's _Hamlet_, which was scheduled to open at the beginning of October. Having always been a fan of Shakespeare's work, I readily accepted his and Alice's invitation to attend the show on opening night, since Alice had an extra ticket.

The Whitlocks lived just one stop down the Red Line from me, and Alice demanded that I visit as often as possible. From her enthusiasm, I gathered that she didn't have too many friends in Chicago. I'd enjoyed myself at dinner and genuinely liked the quirky pixie-like Alice, so I doubted I'd have much trouble agreeing to her promise. I knew no one else in the city and it was nice to have a friend, especially one as cheerful and kind as Alice.

Shaken out of my reverie by the call of my stop, I gathered my things and left the train, trying not to bump into anyone as I made my way through the crowds of commuters, up the stairs, and out into the bright sunlight of a warm September morning. St. Martin's was only two blocks away from the L stop, in a tall stone building on the edge of the Chicago River. I loved the architecture of the old building, so different from the modern steel and glass skyscrapers around it, a perfect balance between modern convenience and antique charm.

Nodding to the building security guard as I walked through the glass doors, I swiped my pass and made my way to the elevators, speeding up to catch one before the doors closed. Ignoring the crush of people around me and the dull musak that filtered through the speakers, I left the elevator on the sixth floor and walked down the marble-tiled hall towards the wooden double doors that were the entrance to the school.

"Morning Miss Swan." To my left, the school security guard, Tyler, gave me a nod and a smile. Ever since my first day, Tyler had made it a point to say hello and goodbye to me each day; Alice thought he had a crush on me, but it was probably just simple courtesy. I smiled in return, giving him a little wave before pushing through the door. A wave of sound hit me and I stopped, staring at the hallway full of teenagers with sudden apprehension.

Mrs. Jackson had said it would only take me a few weeks to learn all the students' names. St. Martin wasn't a large school, but the swarm of chattering teenagers that filled the hallways made me nervous as I walked past them. What if they didn't like me? I didn't want to be _that_ teacher, the one the students all secretly hated, though I wasn't sure why they would have a reason to. I tried to think back to high school and the teachers I'd disliked. Surely there had been a real reason I—

_CRASH_

Suddenly I was on the floor and staring at the ceiling, my right arm throbbing painfully. I heard a groan from beside me and turned my head to the left, catching the gaze of a gorgeous, bronze-haired man who was scowling at me fiercely, as though I'd just mortally offended him by my clumsiness. I could hear giggling all around us and felt my face turned red as I realized I must have bumped into someone and caused us both to fall, right in front of all the students.

"Sorry, sorry," I muttered, trying to climb to my feet without stumbling more than necessary. The man just continued to scowl, gathering up the papers he must have dropped when I ran into him. Feeling even more like an ass, I offered him my hand to help him to his feet, which he ignored, standing on his own.

"Are you okay?" I tried a slight smile, trying to decide if he was a student or a teacher—he looked almost too young to be teaching. But then again, so did I, so it was entirely possible this was someone I hadn't met during orientation. I opened my mouth to speak again, intent on apologizing once more but the young man spoke first, cutting me off.

"I'm fine. Watch where you're going next time." His tone was curt, almost furious, and I found myself gaping at him as he walked away. More than a few of the female students were staring at his retreating form as well, whispering and giggling to each other. Apparently, whoever he was, the girls at this school liked him a great deal.

_Well, that's a good way to start the day. _Sighing, I made my way to the library, with only a few minutes to spare before classes began. Since the library was only used during study periods by students and faculty, we wouldn't have anyone until at least the second period of the day. That meant I had more than enough time to spend thinking about what had just happened and the strange, bronze-haired man.

---

Thankfully, I survived my first two study classes without incident—since most of the students didn't have homework yet, very few of them needed books. This meant I spent most of the period thinking about Bronze Hair (my mental nickname for him, since I had nothing else to go on and I felt rude calling him Asshole, even in my head) and amusing myself with all sorts of scenarios involving an apology of some kind, since he was obviously still angry with me.

Third period, I had the pleasure of meeting the school's football coach, Emmett Cullen, who had wandered into the library looking for one of his players. At first I'd found him intimidating, being so much larger and _louder_ than I was, but it turned out he was also good friends with Alice and an absolute teddy bear. We spent a good twenty minutes chatting while he waited for his football player to arrive. He'd played football for the University of Florida for four years before graduating with a degree in Athletic Training and had come to St. Martin's to coach football after a recommendation from one of his old UF coaches. He also taught gym and health classes for the upper grades, between coaching sessions.

After Emmett had left the library, his wayward player in tow, I had only lunch to look forward to. Alice had called me the night before and made me promise to meet her in the staff lounge, luring me with the promise of leftovers from another one of Jasper's home-cooked meals. I could cook fairly well, having done so since I was a teenager, but not having to pack a lunch this morning when I already had a million things to think about had sealed the deal. Besides, it would be nice to eat lunch with someone I already knew and not worry about trying to make awkward small talk with my colleagues.

When the bell rang, I told Mrs. Jackson I was going to lunch and made my way to the staff lounge. Unsurprisingly, Alice was already waiting for me, bouncing in a chair at a table near the far end of the room. Several small containers were open in front of her, the smell making my stomach rumble in hunger: mashed potatoes, corn, and baked chicken. I would have to thank Jasper again for the trouble of making extra food for me, since it was obvious there was more than enough for both Alice and I to share.

As I sat down next to Alice, she immediately handed me a paper plate, told me to dish up, and launched into a tale of something funny Jasper had done at rehearsal the night before, all without taking a breath. Only half-listening, I nodded in all the right places as I filled my plate with potatoes and chicken, debating with myself whether or not I should have any corn.

A flash of bronze caught my attention out of the corner of my eye and I turned in my chair, seeing my hallway crash victim walking into the staff room, looking irritated. _He's pretty handsome when I'm not throwing myself into him at top speed,_ I thought, then scolded myself for my foolishness. _No, no, not handsome, don't even think about that._

"Who's that?" I asked Alice softly, not taking my eyes off Bronze Hair, who was now standing on the other side of the staff lounge. He was talking to Dr. Wheaton, the dean of students, and kept gesturing quickly with his hands, looking more and more irritated by the second. Apparently, irritated was his normal state of being.

Alice followed my gaze and grinned broadly. "That's Edward Masen—he's one of the music teachers. Plays piano like a dream, and teaches it pretty well."

"The piano?" Curious, I tried to get a better look at his hands—his fingers were long and delicate-looking; perfectly suited to a pianist. "He teaches piano here?"

Alice nodded. "Piano and musical composition. He used to play for the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, before Dr. Wheaton offered him a position here. He's also single." She smirked, raising her eyebrows suggestively. "And he gives private lessons."

"Alice!" Unable to help myself, I blushed. The thought of Alice trying to set me up with someone like Edward Masen was absurd, to say the least. Besides, he looked like the aloof, brooding artist type, and I knew he was a jerk. I wasn't sure I was up to that sort of challenge. Nor was I interested. At all. Even if he was fairly attractive.

"What? Edward is a nice guy. A little…intense sometimes, but he's really sweet once you get to know him." She gave me an innocent smile and grabbed my hand, almost yanking me forward as she started to cross the room. "Come on, I'll introduce you."

"No, Alice, wait—" But it was too late. I was standing in front of Edward, who was looking at Alice and I with the same scowl he'd worn earlier, obviously not pleased to see us. We'd interrupted his conversation with Dean Wheaton, and the older man had slipped away from us with an excuse about needing to talk with one of the other teachers, leaving the three of us alone in the corner.

"Yes, Alice?" Oh God, his voice was as lovely as I had remembered. _Pull it together, Bella. Seriously. He was an asshole to you for no reason, remember?_

"Edward, this is Bella Swan, she's Mrs. Jackson's new assistant in the library. Bella, this is Edward Masen, the piano and composition instructor." Alice was nearly bouncing now, grinning from ear to ear as she waited for one of us to say something to the other.

"We've met," I mumbled, hopefully too softly for either of them to hear. I hadn't counted on Alice having superhuman hearing however, because she turned and looked between me and Edward, raising one delicate eyebrow.

"Oh?" She looked at me expectantly, and to my horror, so did Edward. Was it my imagination, or did he also look _amused_ now, rather than irritated? It must have been, because when I looked again, he was still frowning.

"In the hallway this morning." At that moment, I wanted nothing more than the floor to open up and swallow me whole. This was absolutely humiliating, and I was going to murder Alice later. Hopefully Jasper would understand my justification. "I ran into him."

Edward's lips quirked upwards in a half-smile that made something in my stomach clench in a painfully good way. The frown returned just as quickly, and he almost spat out his words. "Quite literally. For a tiny thing, you're very heavy."

Alice's mouth opened in a tiny little 'O' of surprise as she continued to stare at me. "Bella, you didn't say anything about—"

"Bella!"

_Saved!_ I turned and smiled brightly at Emmett, who was making his way across the room to us. He grinned and threw an arm around my shoulder, nodding in hello to Edward and Alice. "Survived the first half of the day, huh?"

Dwarfed by the larger man, I nodded, trying my best not to look at Edward right now. This was so not how I'd pictured spending my lunch period. I had half a mind never to eat in here again, if this was going to happen. "I'm fine, Emmett."

"I wouldn't say that. She ran over Edward in the hallway." Alice said, obviously way too amused by this information. _Traitor_, I thought bitterly, as Emmett's booming laugh echoed in my ears. To my surprise, Edward glared at Emmett as though he'd done something wrong. Emmett, completely oblivious to his reaction, squeezed my shoulders with a grin.

"Well, it could have been worse. At least it was Edward and not the dean or someone important." He chuckled at his own joke, which made Edward scowl even more, if that was possible.

"Thank you, Coach Cullen." Edward glanced down at the silver watch on his wrist. "I've got to be going." With that, he turned away and headed for the door at a quick pace, almost as though he wanted to run from us. I couldn't help it—I actually felt _hurt_ by Edward's cold attitude towards me. Was he really going to hold a grudge over what happened this morning, or was that just how he treated everyone?

"Bella?" I looked down to see Alice's worried face, all trace of her earlier amusement having vanished. "Don't worry about him, he's just a jackass to everyone he doesn't know. I'm sure he'll get to know you better and then you'll be friends." Her smile returned, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. "You'll see!"

"Let's just finish lunch, okay?" I really didn't want to dwell on the subject. Edward and I had no reason to interact during the school day, and I wasn't interested in making friends with someone who was so rude to complete strangers. "Emmett, Jasper sent food along with Alice—you can have some of mine, if you want."

"Jasper's cooking? Oh hell yes!" Without another word, Emmett let go of me and was bounding over to the table where the leftovers were still sitting, Alice following him in a futile attempt to keep him from eating our entire lunch. My appetite had vanished, so I slipped quietly out of the staff lounge, determined to keep Edward out of my thoughts for the rest of the day.

_I'm not going to let one stubborn jerk get to me. Besides, the music rooms are on the upper floors. We'll never even see each other except at lunch, and I can probably just eat outside somewhere until it gets cold._

Satisfied with my plan to avoid ever having to interact with _him _again, I pushed open the library doors, intending on getting some filing work done before the students came back from lunch.

The library was deserted except for Edward Masen, who was leaning against my desk, his beautiful face expressionless. "Miss Swan. We need to talk."

_Shit._

_________

A/N: I appreciate any and all reviews--your thoughts make me giddier than Alice on a shopping spree, and encourage me to write faster! :)


	2. A Confrontation and Coffee

A/N: Thank you all SO MUCH for your favorites and reviews! :D I know it seems like I'm popping out chapters really quickly here, but I want to lay the basics of the story down before I dive real deep into the drama! And as to an Edward POV happening…probably a little later, after the plot thickens. I don't want to spoil his side of the story for everyone!

____

_Shit._ My mind went blank and I stared at Edward, trying to decipher his words. _We need to talk? What the hell would we have to talk about?_

"Okay," I said, still standing in the doorway. His scowl returned and he stood up, walking towards the stacks. _Apparently, I'm supposed to follow him. Well, that's not happening. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid._

With a scowl of my own, I sat down at my desk, picking up one of the books from the new shipment we'd received last week, still intent on getting some work done before classes began again. I had just started typing in the book's title into the catalog when I heard footsteps approaching my desk.

"Miss Swan?" I looked up at Edward, who had come back to my desk, and gave him my best 'pleasant teacher' smile, the one that every teacher I'd ever known had used when they were annoyed but didn't want to show it.

"Yes, Mr. Masen? Did you have something to discuss with me?"

He ran a hand through his already messy hair, letting out a hiss between teeth. "Miss Swan, if you are going to be rude--"

"If _I'm_ going to be rude?" His arrogance was outrageous, and I gave up all hope of staying calm. Slamming my book shut, I stood, leaning forward. "_You_ were rude to me in the hallway this morning _after_ I apologized for running into you, and you were rude to me _and_ my friends in the staff lounge. I can't imagine what I've done to offend your sensibilities to the point where you have to treat me like a piece of gum stuck to your shoe, and frankly I don't have time for it. So would you please say what you have to say so I can go back to work?"

I saw the anger flash in his eyes and his fists clenched--for a brief, terrifying moment, I thought he was going to hit me. Instead, he whirled around and practically stalked across the room and out of the library, passing a surprised-looking Mrs. Jackson who had just come in.

"Bella, are you alright?" She looked at the door, which Edward had slammed shut behind him, and then back at me. "Was Mr. Masen bothering you?"

"No, ma'am, it's fine." I looked down at my desk, hoping she wouldn't push the matter further. After my initial burst of anger had faded, I was left feeling only embarrassed by my reaction to him. I had never, ever let someone get that under my skin before, and it was more than a little upsetting.

When I realized Mrs. Jackson didn't look convinced, I faked a smile and held up the book in my hands. "We're down to the last dozen new books. Is there something else you'd like me to do after I finish?"

That did the trick. Distracted by the prospect of work, Mrs. Jackson began listing off all the things that still needed to be done in the library, promising to write them all down for me as she moved to wait at the door for the next class of students.

Sitting back down at my desk, I looked down at the book in my hands and sighed. I had successfully avoided Edward Masen and whatever scolding he was sure to have given me. So why did I feel so awful about it?

The rest of the school day passed without incident. The students behaved for the most part, I finished cataloging the last of the new books and had started on updating our reading lists when the final bell rang. And I had effectively avoided thinking about _him_.

A few minutes after the last student had wandered out, the door to the library opened again and I froze in fear, thinking it was him again. But it was only Alice, who looked around until she spotted me, her face lighting up with delight. "Bella, you're still here!" She bounded inside and stopped in front of my desk, clutching an expensive-looking handbag and bounced on the balls of her feet. "Let's ride the train home together—I hate riding alone when I don't have to. And you can tell me all about your day!"

"I've got a lot of work to finish, Alice." I held up the stack of papers, which were covered in red-inked notes. I really did have a lot to do, and was feeling more than a little tired after the day's events. "Besides, I don't think Mrs. Jackson would like it if I went home right after school."

"Nonsense." Alice grinned, then skipped over to Mrs. Jackson's office and knocked on the door. "Edna, can I steal Bella away? She'll spend all night here if I don't, I promise."

"Go right ahead, dear." My boss's voice drifted out of the office, sounding bemused. She raised her voice louder so that I could here. "Bella, go home. You can finish those lists in the morning."

Alice beamed at me as I gathered my things, wondering why in the world she was so intent on riding home with me. I knew Alice had lived in Chicago longer than I had, and probably had no trouble riding the train, so there was something else going on in her hyperactive brain. And I was willing to bet every dollar I had that something else was Edward.

When I was finally ready to go, Alice practically dragged me down the hallway to the elevator. I heard Tyler chuckle as we passed him and I attempted a wave as Alice pulled me inside the elevator. He waved back just as the doors closed, leaving me alone in the elevator with my tiny companion.

"In a hurry to get home to Jasper, Alice?" I teased, hoping to stall any discussion of a certain music teacher.

"Nice try, Bella. He's at rehearsal until eight." She glared at me for a moment and then grinned again. "So, one of my seniors said that when Edward came back to classes after lunch, he was so pissy that he almost made one of the freshman cry. And another student saw him coming out of the library after lunch."

"The library is a popular place." Inspecting my nails, I did my best to sound casual. I really didn't want to discuss my conversation with Edward with anyone right now, not until I'd had some time to figure it out myself. Which I never would, because I was not thinking about him again. Ever.

"Bell-a-a-a." Alice dragged my name out in a whine. "Please tell me? I promise I won't tell a soul." Her lower lip jutted out in a pout and I almost laughed, but caught myself just in time. I had a feeling Alice wouldn't appreciate being laughed at.

I also had a feeling she wasn't going to let this go. "Fine. But," I held up one hand, cutting her squealing short. "You have to buy me coffee on the way home _and_ you can't tell Jasper either."

Her pixie-like face fell. "I can't tell Jasper? But I tell him everything!"

"Not this." I shook my head as the elevator stopped on the ground floor, letting us out into the lobby. When Alice tried to protest again, I put a hand on her arm, stopping her. "Alice, I'm serious."

"Fine," she pouted again, but nodded. "I won't tell anyone, not even Jazz."

"Good." I waited until we were outside again, walking towards the L stop. "Where are we going for coffee, then?"

"Chicago Coffee. It's down the block from the Berwyn stop." Alice was still pouting slightly, but I could tell that she was getting excited at the prospect of coffee and gossip. She was far too upbeat to let my conditions keep her down for very long. "Jasper and I go for breakfast there every Sunday."

"Sounds fine to me." I let Alice take over the conversation after that, as she continued the story from lunch about Jasper's rehearsals and the quirks of all the actors he was working with. Thankfully, she was perfectly fine chattering on without much of a response from me, and her stories kept me from thinking about Edward and the inevitable grilling from Alice about our conversation.

Her babbling lasted right up until we were inside Chicago Coffee, drinks in hand, and had found a table. When she stopped to take a breath, I spoke up, hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Yes, Mr. Masen came into the library after lunch. He wanted to talk to me, but apparently he thought I was rude and stormed out. That's all." I lifted the cup of coffee to my lips, looking at Alice over the rim. "I _might_ have been a little rude to him, but he was rude to me first, so it was only fair."

"Bella! What did you say?" My hopes of Alice letting this go with my confession died quickly as she sat up straight, eyes bright with curiosity. "Angela said that he was slamming things around his office and _swearing _when her class got to their lesson."

That information surprised me. Apparently, my ranting had annoyed him to the point of violence, which was a little upsetting. "He called me rude, and I told him that if anyone was rude, it was him, and that if he had something to say, he should just say it." I sipped my coffee, ignoring the uneasy feeling in my gut at the thought of Edward's curled fists and blazing eyes. He'd been so _angry_ with me, and I couldn't understand why. "He just stormed out after that."

"Wow." Alice sat back in her chair, looking astonished. "You must have really done a number on him in the hallway this morning. Edward never talks to _anyone_ at school, not even when he's angry at them. I had to corner him in his office to get a word out of him today, and he actually tolerates me more than anyone else."

"You talked to him?" I winced, wishing I didn't sound so concerned about it. "About what?"

"About you, silly!" She made a face, then set her cup down. "But he wouldn't say anything, except that you wouldn't talk to him, so he was 'done', whatever that means. Edward is so weird sometimes; it must be an artist thing. Jasper can get really moody when he's in the middle of learning his lines."

That segued into another Jasper story, which I listened to only half-heartedly. What did Edward mean he was 'done'? _Bella, it doesn't matter. You promised yourself you wouldn't think about him anymore, remember? _

I returned my attention to Alice's story and finished my coffee as we talked about anything but Edward. We parted ways shortly afterwards, promising to ride the train together in the morning, and headed to our respective apartments. Alone for the rest of the night, I had plenty of time to ignore the nagging little voice in my head that said I had not seen the last of Edward Masen in my life.

________________________

A/N: Whew! The next chapter probably won't come for a few days---my hands are almost falling off! Unless the writing bug keeps biting, and then it'll be out sooner.

Thanks again for all the reviews and for the favorites/alerts—I'm so glad people are enjoying this story! And I promise, we'll get into some more drama in the next chapter—I'd love to hear what you all think is going to happen!

As another aside, I set this story in Chicago partially because that's where Edward is originally from, and partially because I'm very familiar with the city and wanted to give a little shout-out to the place that I consider a second home. :D Chicago Coffee is a real place, and they have fabulous coffee and croissants (I'm partial to the spinach one). And it really is right off the Berwyn stop on the Red Line!


	3. The Play's the Thing

The month of September passed quietly. I avoided the teacher's lounge for the first week after my confrontation with Edward, until Alice mentioned that he wasn't eating lunch in the lounge anymore and begged me to come back so that she had someone to talk to besides Emmett.

I saw _him_ only once, during the third week of school. I had just finished up for the day and was waiting for the elevator, when the doors opened and I found myself face-to-face with a sullen Edward Masen. I was running late for the yoga class Alice had badgered me into taking with her, so I pushed away my sudden bout of nervousness and got into the elevator, determined to just ignore him and ride to the lobby in silence.

Except that the moment I stepped inside, Edward hit the 'close door' button on the elevator and walked out, leaving me alone and in shock. I had pulled out my cell phone when I reached the lobby and was just about to call Alice when my sanity returned, and I reminded myself for the thousandth time in three weeks that Edward's irrational hatred of me was not my problem. Except that for the rest of the month, I found myself wishing that I would run into him again, though I drew the line at actually seeking him out like some crazed stalker. I just wanted to know what is _deal_ was with me, so I could stop wondering and move on.

Then, on the Tuesday of last week of September, Alice reminded me about my promise to attend the opening night of Jasper's play, which was coming up that Friday. I had completely forgotten about it and in my current state of scatterbrained unhappiness, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go. I tried to tell Alice I wasn't feeling well, but she would have none of my excuses.

"You'll have fun, I promise! It'll be good for you to get out and see a show, and I know you love Shakespeare." Alice had given me a bright smile as I tried to look around for the nearest exit. The little witch had me trapped behind my desk, which meant there was no way out of this conversation. "We're off on Friday, so I'll even help you get ready!"

Alice had been trying to 'help me' for the last month, and I was terrified to think of what her help would entail this time. Probably some form of waxing torture, followed by a makeup bombing and clothing that would make a grown man cry. Thank god the theater had somewhat of an unofficial dress code, so she couldn't come up with anything too outrageous, I thought.

I was so very wrong.

"Alice, I cannot wear that outside! Hell, I can't even wear it _inside!_" It was Friday afternoon and we were inside Nordstrom Rack, battling the other bargain-hunting fashionistas of Michigan Avenue. Alice was holding up what I had thought was a slinky black shirt, but was actually (according to Alice) a very, very short, slinky black dress. This was the third such ridiculous thing she had picked for me, and I was starting to wonder if I just wouldn't be better off agreeing and then accidentally tossing the offending garment under an oncoming train.

"You're so insecure, Bella! I bet under all those corduroy pants and heavy sweaters, you have a great body." She stuck her tongue out at me and then pulled out another dress from the rack. "How about this one then?"

This dress was also black, but much classier. It was knee-length silk, with a sweetheart neckline, short cap sleeves and a satin waistband. Even with my lack of fashion sense and my dislike of low-cut necklines, I could see that it was a beautiful dress. Plus I was afraid that if I turned this one down, Alice would find something from the trashy socialite section again and I'd be stuck looking like a Paris Hilton impersonator.

When I tried on the dress, I knew Alice had been right. I looked _good_. Not super-model good, but pretty enough to pass for someone who belonged at a theatre. When my personal shopping pixie got a look at the dress, she squealed in delight and made me turn around a half-dozen times, admiring the way the dress fit me and her own genius for picking it out.

After the addition of black ballerina flats (I flat out refused to wear heels), a handbag, and a cashmere wrap, we were done with the shopping and I was substantially poorer. Alice, feeling slightly guilty after I mentioned my sudden lack of funds, promised to make it up to me by bringing lunch to share every day for a week, which I gratefully accepted. Like I was going to turn down any more of Jasper's home cooked meals.

We went back to Alice's place where she insisted I just stay and use her shower, since we only had a few hours to get ready for the show. I had hoped I could just throw my hair up in a French twist, get dressed, and be done with it, but Alice had other plans. I found myself sitting at her vanity, wearing nothing but a towel, while she dried and set my hair in hot rollers. As the rollers went to work on my hair, Alice went to work on my face, smacking my hand every time I flinched as she plucked, moisturized, powdered, and penciled until I hardly recognized myself.

"See, Bella? A little patience and a little work and you look _fantastic_. I mean, you were pretty before, but now…" Alice sighed heavily, admiring her work as she mussed my curls around, trying to get them exactly how she wanted. I had to admit, she'd done a very good job with the makeup and hair. "I'm sure even you-know-who couldn't stay away from you."

Her tone was entirely too innocent and I whipped around in the chair, glaring at her. "Alice, please tell me _he_ isn't going to be there."

"No, no. Absolutely not," Alice handed me my dress, letting me handle that much while she got herself ready. She was very carefully avoiding my gaze as she walked across the room, opening her closet door. "Well, probably not."

"Probably not?" My voice came out as a shriek, and I covered my mouth with one hand, blushing. I really needed to take a deep breath and relax, but Alice's comment just kept reverberating in my head. "You didn't invite him, did you?"

"Noooooo," Alice shook her head, pulling her own short, dark green dress out of the closet. "It's the whole Chicago art community thing. Everyone goes to everyone else's performances or gallery openings, for support. I've seen Edward at the theatre before, so it's entirely possible that he might be there tonight. But the show runs for a month, so he may not even go until later."

Oh God. I wasn't sure I could face Edward, when I was made up like some sort of wannabe runway model, wearing a dress that did nothing but show off my extremely tiny chest and pale, spindly legs. The last thing I needed was another fight, and this one, knowing my luck, would probably be in the middle of a crowded theatre. "Alice, if he's there-"

"Relax!" She grinned at me, double-checking her makeup and hair in the mirror before she slipped into her dress."I won't let the big bad piano player hurt you, I promise."

"Ugh!" I was about to put my face in my hands, totally embarrassed by her teasing, but Alice's shriek made me stop and she batted my hands away from my face, scowling fiercely at me.

"Don't touch your face! You'll smudge everything and then we'll have to do it all over. Do you want that?"

I shuddered, which was answer enough for Alice, who huffed and went to find her shoes. If Edward showed up at the play tonight, I could only hope he'd be civil long enough for me to get away.

---

We took a cab to the theatre after Alice insisted she wasn't going to ride the train in a designer outfit ("Do you want someone to mug us, Bella?"), which got us there almost a half-hour before they opened the doors. I couldn't help but look around at the faces in the crowd, hoping that I would catch a glimpse of my bronze-haired nemesis. Not that I wanted to see him there, but if I saw him first, then I could implement my secret avoidance plan. It was a very good plan, involving me hiding in a bathrooms stall until they were about to start the play, though it entirely hinged on Alice not dragging me back out into the lobby once she figured out why I was hiding.

It turned out I didn't even need my excellent plan, since I didn't see Edward anywhere in the crowd, even as Alice and I took our seats in the theatre and the lights started to dim. Nor did I see him during intermission, which was fine since Alice had given me a glass of wine from the bar and I'd begun to get a little dizzy, having not eaten anything since our lunch before the shopping trip. I did not want to be around Edward Masen while drunk, that much was certain. Who knew what kind of stupid things I would say to him while drunk?

Satisfied that Edward had not come to see Jasper's play, I was able to relax enough to actually enjoy the performance. Jasper was incredibly talented, and I could see why they had given him the role of Hamlet; his intensity was almost mesmerizing, and I had a hard time reconciling the crazy Prince of Denmark with the sweet, shy man who had made me laugh at dinner.

When the lights finally dimmed on the bodies of Hamlet, Gertrude, and Claudius, I had to wipe the tears from my eyes before I joined in the applause, jumping to my feel the moment Jasper came back on stage for his bow. Alice beamed beside me, jumping up and down like a crazy thing, obviously proud of her husband. After several more bows, the actors left the stage and Alice and I wandered out into the crowded lobby where Jasper had promised to meet us after the show. We were supposed to go with him to some cast party at a bar, which I wasn't looking forward to, but Alice had assured me that they wouldn't stay long and I'd be home before midnight.

After a few minutes, I spotted a few of the minor cast members already milling about, chattering with their friends and admirers and I was just about to ask Alice how long Jasper would be, when I saw _him_.

Edward was leaning against a pillar, talking to a tall, shapely blonde who was wearing jeans and a low-cut top, her face still bearing traces of stage makeup around the edges. Thinking back to the show, I remembered the only blonde actress was the girl who played Ophelia (and rather awkwardly, in comparison to Jasper), and I glanced down at the program in my hand, trying to find her name.

A throaty laugh made me pause my search and I looked up at Edward again just in time to see the woman lift a hand and brush her fingers along his cheek, leaning in to press a kiss against his lips. I gasped and closed my eyes; I felt like I had been punched in the gut, but I didn't understand _why_. So Edward had a girlfriend, big deal. He didn't even like me, nor did I like him by any stretch of the imagination. So why did I suddenly feel like I was going to be sick?

"Bella?" Alice's worried voice snapped me out of the strange haze of pain, and I looked down at her, smiling weakly. Her pretty little face was full of concern, and I noticed Jasper had arrived and had one arm wrapped around her shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little woozy from that glass of wine," I lied, trying to make my smile a little more confident in the hopes of avoiding any more questions. Jasper's gaze moved over my shoulder and he raised one eyebrow, but he thankfully kept his mouth shut. "So, where are we going?"

"It's right next door," Jasper said quietly, squeezing Alice's shoulder. She looked up at him with a dreamy smile, and I immediately quashed the jealousy I felt at their easy affection. Obviously, I needed another drink, if I was going to be this silly tonight. "Shall we, ladies?" He offered me his other arm and I took it gratefully, glancing back one last time at Edward.

The blonde was gone and he was staring right at me, green eyes smoldering. I could see the strain in his face as he fought to keep from scowling outright, fists clenched at his sides like they had during our confrontation in the library. It was all too obvious that he was not pleased to see me. I turned around again, leaning against Jasper for comfort as I fought to forget how his stare had made me want to burst into tears.

---

A/N: Whew! Poor Bella—what is Edward's deal, anyways?

Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing so far—I love hearing what you guys think! :D Every time my email pings with a new favorite or review, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.


	4. I must be cruel, only to be kind

Let me be cruel, not unnatural;  
I will speak daggers to her, but use none.

**Hamlet,** scene ii

---

It seemed like almost the entire audience from the show had followed the cast next door to the bar, which was crammed full of people. Blaring pop music assaulted us as the doors opened and I winced, glad that I had remembered to stick aspirin in my purse. I was going to need it if we stayed here more than a few minutes.

Jasper led Alice and I upstairs to a roped-off area with several tables marked 'Reserved', where the rest of the cast had gathered. I could see the pretty blonde from earlier sitting at a nearby table, talking with several other people. To my relief, none of them were Edward. I didn't see him anywhere, though that didn't mean anything, since I could hardly see half the people in the bar since it was so dark and crowded.

"I'll get us some drinks!" Alice threw her purse down on the table, kissed Jasper's cheek, and went skipping in the direction of the bar, her tiny form quickly lost in the sea of people. I took a seat on the other side of Jasper and set my own bag down with a sigh, trying my best not to look as miserable as I felt.

"Bella," Jasper was looking at me in genuine concern, which only made me feel worse. This was supposed to be a celebration for him, not a pity party for Bella Swan, the pathetic dork. "If you don't want to stay, Alice and I can take you home. It's no trouble at all."

"No, no, no," I shook my head quickly, faking another bright smile. "I'm just really overwhelmed, that's all. You were fantastic, you know. Really, really fantastic."

Jasper didn't look convinced at my denial, but he just let it slide past and accepted my compliments with a gracious smile. "Thank you, Bella. I'm lucky enough to get to do what I love for a living, so the fact that people think I'm talented is just icing on the cake." He stood, suddenly, and reached forward just as Alice returned to the table, balancing a martini glass in one hand, and a glass tray of colorful shots in the other.

"Shots, Bells! This will cheer you up, and maybe I can get you to dance with me before the night is over!" Judging by her use of my nickname and from the fact that there was one empty shot glass on the tray along with the full ones, Alice had already gotten a head start on the drinking.

I had never been the kind of girl to do shots, so I was apprehensive as I picked up the first one, waiting until Alice gave the signal to down its entire contents. Heat burst up from my stomach to my throat and I shuddered, though the taste wasn't all bad. Fruity, but with a subtle alcoholic taste, which meant whatever Alice was making me drink, it was expensive and would make me blissfully drunk that much quicker, hopefully without the bad hangover the next morning.

Seeing my shudder, Alice grinned and leaned against Jasper, who was sipping his martini and looking mildly amused at our antics. Only Jasper could drink a martini and manage to look manly while doing it. He was like James Bond, only blonde and from the South. And a whole lot more approachable.

Between the wine during the performance and the first shot, I could already feel myself floating slightly, and by the wandering train of my thoughts, I knew it wouldn't be long before I _was_ drunk enough to dance with Alice. Anticipating that Alice wouldn't wait long before dragging me out to the dance floor, I picked up another shot glass, raising it in front of me.

"To Jasper, the finest Prince of Denmark to ever live—er, and die on stage!" I proclaimed, nodding at him. Alice giggled and grabbed her own shot, lifting it in Jasper's direction before we both drank. He raised his glass in acknowledgement of our praise, still looking amused. How Jasper put up with Alice's crazy and my weirdness, I would never know. The man was a saint for not running away by now.

"Dancing, Bella!" Alice stood and grabbed my hand, but I grabbed the last shot before she could drag me out and downed it, carrying the glass with me to the dance floor. A passing waitress plucked it from my hand with a roll of her eyes before I could drop it, and Alice tugged me further into the crowd, putting her hands on my hips.

"Have you ever done this before?" She had to shout over the music and the crowd to be heard, even though she was right next to me. I shook my head, trying to see what everyone around me was doing. It looked like some sort of basic grinding, which I figured couldn't be too hard. All you had to do was move your hips—how hard could that be?

I felt kind of silly as Alice pulled me towards her, pressing herself against me as she swayed and bounced to the beat, her pixie-like face alight with drunken happiness. Rather than stand like a pole and be awkward, I attempted to imitate her, managing to stay mostly on-beat while the people around us seemed oblivious to my lack of dancing skills. At least the alcohol was helping to numb some of my embarrassment.

After two songs of bumping and giggling, Alice and I were holding each other upright as we danced, and Alice was just about to start demonstrating some of her more advanced dance moves when Jasper joined us, wrapping his arms around Alice's waist. She giggled and pressed back so her ass was against his hips and wriggled, making his face contort in an odd way. I covered my mouth to hide my laugh, amused as Alice's blatant sexuality. If I hadn't been drunk, it would have embarrassed me, but right now it was hilarious, and I wanted to leave them alone so they could have a little bit of fun without Boring Bella getting in the way of sexytime.

When Jasper bent his head to nuzzle against Alice's neck, I knew that was my cue to let them have some alone time. "I'm going to the bathroom!" I yelled to Alice, hoping she could hear me over all the noise. She waved me on, still blissfully wrapped in Jasper's embrace.

More than a little unsteady on my feet after the three shots of…whatever Alice had been giving me, I stumbled towards the ladies room, trying not to trip over anything on my way. I was within sight of the door when I felt my toe catch an uneven part of the floor, and before I knew it, I went sprawling forward, colliding with something warm and solid, which swore loudly when we hit the ground.

"Shit, I'm so s-sorry," I stuttered, my embarrassment only heightened by the fact that I was most definitely drunk now. Alice was never going to let me live this down, if she'd seen my graceless dive into a stranger.

My crash victim growled and got to his feet, grabbing my arm roughly to pull me up. "Are you going to make a habit of running me over, or are you just that fucking drunk right now?"

_FUCK._ In a bar filled with people, I had once again managed to tackle Edward, who was sneering at me, arms crossed over his chest. His words made my cheeks flame, not with embarrassment, but with anger. My internal filter had vanished somewhere between the second and third shot I'd taken, so I put my hands on my hips and glared at him, not willing to back down this time. We were long overdue for this talk. "What the hell is your problem?"

My voice must have been louder than I'd thought, because several people nearby turned to stare at us, which made me cringe. Even drunk, I didn't wanted to make a spectacle out of myself. Rolling his eyes, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me further back into the dark hallway, where we wouldn't have an audience.

"My problem," he rasped, squeezing my wrist so tightly that I squeaked in pain. "Is that you need to stay the fuck out of my life, alright? Quit pretending to run into me, quit getting Alice to ask me about you, and quit fucking staring at me all the time. I don't like you, and I don't want to be friends. Is that clear?" I could smell the alcohol on his breath, which angered me. I was in no mood to be yelled at by a drunk.

"You're hurting me," I snapped, trying to tug my arm away from his grasp. He let go suddenly and I stumbled backwards into the wall, wincing at the impact of brick against skin. Before I could say anything else, he had closed the gap between us, effectively pinning me there as his hands rested against the wall on either side of my body.

"You're a bastard, you know that?" I scowled up at him, trying to ignore the fact that our faces were inches apart and the sudden fluttering in my stomach. "I didn't run into you on purpose, I've never asked Alice to talk to you about _anything_, and I sure as hell don't give a crap about being friends with an asshole like you."

"Is that so?" His face was inches away from mine now, his gaze now full of something that wasn't anger or loathing, but something else that I couldn't quite identify, which pissed me off. I didn't need him suddenly changing his mind, not now that I had a good deal of drunken fury to rightfully unleash upon him.

"It is!" Furious that I couldn't figure out what he was thinking, I did the one thing I knew he'd never expect. I grabbed the front of his shirt in my fist and pulled him down to me, kissing him as hard as I could.

He instantly tensed and I broke away, feeling very sober all of a sudden and terrified of his reaction to my momentary insanity. What the _hell _was I thinking, kissing Edward? Especially after I had just told him that I wasn't interested in him?

For a moment, he did nothing but stare down at me, his green eyes wide with shock, and I hoped that he would just walk away and we would never speak of this moment again. That would be best: he could go back to hating me and I could go back to avoiding him, just like before. Nothing would have to change, we'd be fine, I'd be fine, everything would be fine. Fine fine fine.

Then, with a growl that made my body flush with heat, he pressed himself against me and crushed my mouth in a searing kiss. Every nerve ending in my body felt like it was on fire and I gasped against him, my arms coming up to wrap around his neck almost involuntarily. If he hadn't been holding me up, I would have melted when one of his hands slid behind my back to pull me tighter against his body, our mouths battling for dominance over one another. He bit my bottom lip and I moaned, rocking my hips shamelessly against him out of the need to feel something against the growing heat between my legs.

Just as suddenly as it had begun, Edward pulled away from my body and stumbled backwards, gasping for breath. I shivered at the loss of contact from his warmth, and tried to take a step forward, but he held up one hand, looking away.

"Just…don't." He looked up at me then, and I covered my hand to keep from crying out; the anger was back in full force, but this time there was fear lurking behind his fury, making me wonder how much damage I had done to him with that kiss.

"I'm only going to tell you this once, Isabella. _Get out of my head_." He ground the words out between clenched teeth, dropping his hand. "Don't come near me again. Ever." With that, he turned on his heel and stormed away, leaving me alone and stunned.

Edward Masen, the man who had been nothing but a bastard to me since the first day we met, had just given me the most intense, passionate, and _incredible_ kiss I had ever experienced in my entire life. And, to my complete and utter despair, I knew he would never do it again.

---

A/N: I feel very bad for leaving you guys hanging like this, but know that I won't leave you wondering what happens for very long! Bella obviously has an effect on Edward, one he doesn't like (or does he? Hmmm). Edward is such a _bastard_—I love writing him! And who is the mysterious blonde? We'll find that out soon as well!

I love all the reviews you guys are giving me, especially when you speculate on what's going to happen next! Hopefully, work won't get in the way too much this week and I'll be able to update within the next few days!


	5. What's done cannot be undone

A/N: And here's where this story earns its rating. I need to go jump in a snowpile now :P We have lots of them right now, so I should be able to find the perfect one to cool me off.

---

After my disastrous encounter with Edward, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to face Alice and Jasper until I sorted out just what the hell I felt about everything. My whole concept of Edward had been thrown out the window with that kiss, and I knew without a doubt that I was attracted to him: my body's response to his kiss had made that fact very clear, despite how furious I was at his continued dickish behavior.

Feeling a little more sober now than I had when I'd arrived at the bar, I made my way back to the table we had claimed earlier, thankful to see that Alice and Jasper hadn't come back yet and I could grab my things and slip out unnoticed. I would send a text message to Alice later and apologize for leaving without saying goodbye—I knew she'd be worried about me when I didn't come back from the bathroom.

The October night air was chilly and I was thankful for the wrap I had brought, pulling it tightly around my shoulders as I stepped outside, letting the valet hail me a cab. I didn't really have the money to waste on a cab ride, but it was better than taking the L alone so late at night when I could barely focus enough to give the driver my address. He wasn't a talker, so I was able to sit back and try to push back the memory of Edward's lips on mine, and his harsh words.

_I'm only going to tell you this once, Isabella. Get out of my head. _What the hell did that mean? It was almost as if he blamed me for his inability to _not_ think about me, which was ridiculous; how was I supposed to control his thoughts? It wasn't as though I blamed him for being in my thoughts all the time, as annoying as it was. Maybe if I started blaming him for irrational things, he'd leave me alone and I could stop wanting to rip my hair out every time he came near me.

_I don't like you, and I don't want to be friends._ That had been a little more straightforward, though I could counter with the fact that at least part of him liked me, judging by his physical reaction to our kiss. The brick wall had not been the only hard thing pressing against me. Declaring that he didn't want to be friends was a bit ridiculous. We _weren't_ friends; everything he had done (except for that amazing kiss) had been an obvious attempt to kill any chance of friendship we might have had.

His idea that it was _my _fault that Alice had badgered him for information was just absurd. If he knew Alice at all, he would know that she took matters into her own hands when she felt the need. I could no more control Alice than I could control the weather, and at least the weather I could protect myself against. Hurricane Alice was a force to be reckoned with, and if Edward had irritated her, she was never going to stop until she found out just what his problem was. That particular issue was something the two of them would have to work out, though I might slip in a hint to Alice to get her little pixie nose out of my business.

I was getting no closer to an answer than I had before I'd started brooding; frustrated and still a little drunk, I resolved not to think about Edward for the remainder of the ride home. If I thought any more about him, I was going to scream, and I wanted to do that in the privacy of my own home, not in the back of a cab like some sort of crazy person.

The rest of the ride passed quickly and when we arrived at my apartment, I handed the cab driver a wad of bills. It was probably more than I needed to give him, but I didn't really care at this point, I just wanted to get inside. I ran from the cab to the front gate, fumbling to get my keys out of my purse, and managed to let myself inside and make it up the three flights of stairs to my apartment without falling or starting to cry, even though I could feel a lump forming in my throat. For some reason, I had moved straight from being pissed off to being miserable and pathetic, and all I wanted to do was curl up under the covers in my bed and not come out for at least an entire day.

I kicked off my flats the minute I walked in my door, not really caring where they landed. The dress came off next, which I more carefully draped over the back of a chair in my room, to be hung up later least Alice murder me for my crimes against fashion. Digging a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt out of my dresser, I tossed my bra into the hamper and changed into my clean, comfortable clothes, tossing my hair up in a messy ponytail on my way to the bathroom to scrub off the makeup Alice had caked on my face.

Once my skin was clean, I took a long look at my face in the mirror, noting with some disappointment that my hair was flat now, all of the curl having vanished sometime during the night. I had kind of liked the curls, and I wondered if Alice would show me exactly what she'd done so that I could replicate the look on my own. I had a feeling she wouldn't exactly let me hide in my apartment for the rest of my existence, so I might as well make an attempt to look good when I did go out.

Briefly, I brushed my fingers against my bottom lip, remembering the way Edward had caught it between his teeth. Desire flushed through my body again and I swore, turning away from the mirror. This was ridiculous. I had never, ever been this affected by a guy before; I wasn't exactly a blushing virgin and my last serious boyfriend had been sweet and considerate, but even his most passionate touches had nothing on just what a look from Edward could do to me. _Fuck fuck fuck. Stop thinking about him!_

Deciding I was going to get nowhere fast if I kept thinking about The Kiss (Oh God, I had already capitalized it in my mind, like it was some sort of major life-altering event), I decided there was only one cure for my predicament: chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bad chick flick, the ages-old cure for boy troubles.

Thankfully, I had stocked up on ice cream during my last shopping trip, having eaten the last of my previous stash the night after my first confrontation with Edward. This was going to become a habit pretty soon, a habit which my hips and I did not need or want. The last thing I needed was to forever associate my favorite ice cream with that bastard.

After scooping out a generous amount into a bowl, I brought my ice cream with me into my bedroom and set it down on the bedside table, heading to my bookshelf to pick out a suitably bad romantic comedy. Tonight was definitely a _Bridget Jones Diary_ kind of night. There was nothing in this world that a good dose of Colin Firth and Hugh Grant couldn't fix. Something about a British accent and a good dose of sarcasm always did the trick for me.

I put off starting the movie just long enough to check my cell phone, which I had forgotten to turn on after we left the theatre. I had missed six calls and three text messages, all from Alice, each one more frantic than the last. I knew if I didn't respond right now, she'd probably show up at my apartment unannounced, or do something truly crazy like call the police and report me as missing. I really didn't need any of that drama.

_Didn't feel so well, caught a cab home. See you on Monday. _

_-B_

Hoping that would satisfy her, I shut off my phone, grabbed the remote and my ice cream, and settled in, swearing to myself that I would concentrate only on the movie and try to forget everything else that had happened tonight.

---

_He bit my bottom lip and I moaned, rocking my hips shamelessly against him out of the need to feel something against the growing heat between my legs. Instead of pulling away, he groaned low in his throat and picked me up, his lips never leaving mine as he carried me into the ladies room, locking the door behind us and pinning my body against the nearest wall. When I moaned again, he thrust one of his knees between my legs, moving his mouth from my lips to the edge of my ear._

"_I want you, Bella." His voice was harsh with desire, and I felt lightheaded; not from the alcohol, but from the electricity filling my body, making me arch my back and whisper his name as his hand moved from my hips to the inside of my thigh, finding its way under my skirt to my wet, hot center._

_My hands fluttered uselessly for a moment before I found them a task: unbuttoning Edward's shirt as fast as I could, not caring that some of the buttons were popping off in my haste to feel his bare skin against my palms. He growled in my ear again and slipped his fingers under the edge of my lace-trimmed panties, one finger teasingly stroking just above my clit, making me whimper and rock against him, desperate for more._

"_Please, Edward," I gasped, raking my nails down his chest to convey my urgency. He swore and pressed me harder against the wall, effortlessly sliding two fingers inside of me. It wasn't enough to quench the fire within me and I squeezed my inner walls around his fingers, eliciting a gasp from him. My hands moved lower, towards the one thing I knew would fulfill the ache between my legs, fingers fumbling with his belt buckle as he bit down hard on my collarbone and swiped his thumb against my clit, causing me to cry out and shudder beneath him. _

_My fingers won their battle with the belt and I pushed it aside, pulling his zipper down and sliding my hand inside his pants to touch the goal of my explorations. He hissed, bucking his hips into my hand as I wrapped my fingers around his cock, squeezing it briefly as I used my other hand to push his pants down and away, freeing him._

_I turned my head and found his ear, leaning down to whisper to him. "Fuck me, Edward. Please." _

_He lifted his head again, crushing his lips against mine for a brief, hard kiss before he yanked my panties down and I kicked them off, letting him lift me slightly as he positioned himself between my legs, the tip of his hardness nudging at my center._

_There was a knock on the door behind us and I whimpered as Edward stopped, just short of entering me. "Bella?" The person on the other side was calling my name, sounding worried. "Bella, open up!"_

"_Go away!" I hid my face against Edward's neck, furious that someone had dared interrupt us. I tried twitching my hips again, to get him to move, but he was curiously still, not even breathing now. His neck was also much softer than it had been a moment ago, almost like…a pillow?_

I lifted my head, seeing only the sun streaming through my bedroom windows, no Edward in sight. Shitshitgoddamnit, it was only a _dream_. "Noooo," I moaned, burying my face against the pillow again. The knocking from my dream continued, just as loud, and I could hear my name being called again.

"Bella! I know you're in there. Open the door!" It was Alice, who could not have worse timing if she had tried. The ache between my legs was fierce and I knew if I took a moment to…take care of things, Alice would probably break the door down in a frenzy, and I really didn't need her walking in on me during Bella fun time.

Pushing Edward's imaginary touches out of my mind, I tried to think of all the horrible, violent things I would do to Alice as I crawled out of bed and stumbled to the front door, opening it with a sigh. "Alice, I was _asleep_. It is-" I looked over my shoulder at the clock on my wall, and scowled. "-nine o'clock on a Saturday morning. What could you _possibly_ want right now?"

"To make sure you were okay, silly!" Alice brushed past me, holding a paper bag and a cup of coffee. "I brought you coffee and bagels, but if you're not feeling well I can get you some chicken soup? I also brought some aspirin in case you still had a hangover; I know I did this morning."

She set everything on my kitchen counter and turned around, studying me with a slight frown. "Bella, you look like shit. Maybe I should let you go back to bed."

"I'm fine." I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing my sudden headache away. Just fine, Alice, you only interrupted the best sex dream I had ever had in my entire life. Nothing wrong with that, not at _all_. "I just need some coffee, and I'll be good. How was the rest of your night?"

"Jasper and I left after we couldn't find you." Her tone was reproachful, almost to the point of anger, and I felt a swell of guilt. I really should have sent a text before I'd gotten home instead of ruining the rest of their night. "I was just about to call you when I got your text. Why didn't you say goodbye before you left? We were so worried!"

"I…just didn't feel well. I needed to get home." Avoiding her gaze, I picked up the coffee she had brought and took a long sip, humming in delight. Alice had at least been thoughtful enough to bring good quality caffeine, even if she had woken me up at an ungodly hour.

"Did something happen when you went to the bathroom?" That girl was too perceptive for her own good; I choked on the coffee, trying not to spit it out as I gasped for air. Should I tell her what had happened, what Edward had said? Maybe I could get her to promise not to ask him anything about me and knock out one of his little problems with me. Would it really help at this point?

"Alice…" I trailed off, unsure of how to begin. "I ran into Edward."

"Like you ran into him physically, or you just saw him?" Alice raised one eyebrow and I winced. She was damn near psychic.

"Physically. I tripped, yet again. Drinking apparently does not make me any more graceful than usual." I didn't want to have this conversation in the kitchen, so I headed back to my living room, flopping down on my couch while Alice took a seat on the nearest chair. "And he yelled at me. Again."

"And?" Alice looked at me expectantly, her hands clasped in her lap, like this was fucking story time or something. I was a little bit irked—couldn't she tell that this was bothering me? "What did he say?"

"He told me to stop getting you to bother him about me, and to not stare at him all the time, which I don't do anyway, so I don't know what that's about." I gave her a sharp look. "Have you been trying to get him to talk about me?"

"Maybe," she admitted, having the grace to look embarrassed by this admission. I groaned and slumped down in my seat, not at all pleased. I really did not need Alice to interfere between me and Edward. "It was only once or twice, and it was killing me not to know what was going on. I'm really sorry." She gave me the Alice Pout and I sighed, knowing I had already forgiven her; Alice wasn't vindictive or mean, so I couldn't really blame her for being curious. I sure as hell wanted to know what was going on.

"And did he say anything?" If we were already admitting that there was _something_ going on between Edward and me, whether it was utter loathing or something different, I wasn't going to balk at embarrassing myself by asking what she knew. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Just that he found you irritating and didn't like you. He seemed to really want to stress that last part." Alice made a face, smoothing out the fabric of her skirt. "I knew he was a jerk, but yelling at you again? That's just…what an _asshole._" I was a little surprised by the venom in her tone, but it warmed something within me—Alice would take my side in this, and it was almost nice to finally be able to open up and talk about my issues with Edward.

I realized at that moment that I didn't want to talk about the kiss just yet, so I shrugged my shoulders and sipped my coffee again before I spoke. "I didn't feel much like having fun after that, so I came home. I'm sorry I worried you and Jasper."

She waved a hand at me, all smiles again. "Not a problem; just don't do it again, okay? Now!" She clapped her hands together, and I was suddenly very afraid. She had the same look in her eye that she'd had when she suggested our shopping trip, and I wasn't sure my wallet was up to another trip to Michigan Avenue this soon. "Jasper and I would like to have a Halloween party in a few weeks, since the show will be done by then, and I want you to promise you'll come, okay?"

"Do I have to wear a costume?" I knew this was a stupid question, but I had to ask. If she was going to make me dress up, I was going to put my foot down and make some rules before she ended up dressing me like Little Ho Peep or something ridiculous like that.

"Of course, silly! A Halloween party wouldn't be a party without costumes!" She grinned deviously and looked me over, her eyes lighting up at the sheer potential of my fashion disaster self. "I have just the outfit for you, too!"

"Ahem," I held up a hand to stop her, making myself look as serious as possible. "Nothing above my knees, nothing too revealing, and if it involves ruffles, forget it." Alice opened her mouth to protest, but I shook my head. "Agree to those rules, or I won't agree to come to the party."

"Fine," she said sullenly, crossing her arms and pouting again. The pout only worked once an hour, so I was immune to its effects this time around and merely smiled at her. "And if I have an idea for a costume of my own? Do I need to run it past you, or do you trust me not to come dressed like a nun?"

"You have to run it past me, and if I don't like it, I get complete veto and get to choose the alternative." Damnit, the little sneak had outgunned me on that one—I could only nod, and she squealed, jumping up from her chair and throwing her arms around me in a hug. "Oh Bella, this is going to be so much fun! You'll see!"

"That's what you said about last night," I muttered, but hugged her back, determined not to ruin the moment. If Alice wanted me to come to her Halloween party and dress up in a silly costume, I would do it, because she was my friend and I knew it would make her happy. I could only hope that there would be no Edward encounter that night, and that I could actually enjoy myself.

--

A/N: I hope you guys don't mind me throwing in a lemony dream sequence before we get to the good stuff. This chapter is the longest yet at well over 3,000 words, and I didn't want to cram too much more into it!

And wow! I'm at 50 reviews on and almost 70 on Twilighted---you guys are amazing! Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback! And thanks to everyone in the "Waiting" thread in the All-Human forum on Twilighted. It's so much fun to hear from all of you!


	6. Appassionata

A/N: Whew! New chapter, finally! From here on out, the chapters will probably be posted further apart, but they'll also be longer, so I hope that will somewhat make up for the delay. And I have to thank algonquinrt for her extremely helpful review, which reshaped the second half of this chapter for the better. You are made of win!

And, for a bit of ambience, I suggest listening to Beehtoven's "Appassionata" during this first part, specifically Richter's performance of it—you can find it easily on youtube if you search for "Richter Appasionata"

---

Monday morning at school was more awkward than I could have possibly imagined. Firstly, I overslept by almost an hour, waking up hot and bothered by yet another dream involving Edward, this time involving some kinky Dracula-esque vampire sexual fantasy. I'd had to rush to get dressed and in doing so had managed to throw on a skirt and the one pair of heels I owned, which meant I was self-conscious and overly careful all day, not wanting to flash someone or fall over, though I wasn't sure which of those two options would be worse at this point.

And, as if my day couldn't have gotten any worse, Edward was in the staff lounge when Alice and I arrived for lunch. To my mortification, he took one look at me and fled the room, his behavior shocking Alice into silence for almost five whole minutes. As grateful as I was for the break in her discussion of the plans for the Halloween party, I was still hurt by his reaction and spent the rest of my lunch break in silence, letting Alice's chatter wash over me without hearing a single word, though she kept giving me worried glances as though she thought I might burst into tears at any moment.

After lunch, there was an all-school assembly, which I wasn't required to attend, so I found myself wandering the hallways, feeling strangely reluctant to return to the library. I didn't have all that much to do, really; Mrs. Jackson and I had finished processing all the new books, and my main task right now was merely assisting students with finding materials for class, and following up on overdue books. There were always small projects waiting to be done, but Mrs. Jackson had made it clear that I was to take my first semester slow and ease into things, which was entirely contrary to my normal work ethic. I preferred to just work on things steadily until they were finished, even if it meant forgoing other things such as socializing and sleep, and then enjoy my free time. Except I had never really had any free time, since I always seemed to find something to keep my hands and thoughts occupied.

At some point, my feet had led me up a flight of steps to the second floor of the school, where the arts classes were held. _Stupid, treacherous brain, distracting me from realizing where I was going!_ I did NOT want to be here—my chances of running into Edward were increasing the closer I got to the music rooms and the last thing I wanted was another fight. Or worse, a kiss which I was certain would make things even worse than they already were. At what point could I not make things anymore awful between us? Would one of us have to be dead for that to happen?

I could hear the faint sound of a piano being played somewhere at the end of the hall, and my curiosity got the better of me even as the logical part of my brain was screaming at me, demanding to know if I was suicidal or just completely irrational at this point. I knew it was Edward; the talent of the player was unmistakable and I doubted any of the students were _that_ good.

The piece he was playing was a whirl of sound, raw and furious, but at the same time one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard, stirring up an unfamiliar longing inside of me. I didn't recognize the piece at all (though I would admit to not being as familiar with classical music as I would have liked) but there was something about his playing that drew me closer, almost against my will. I paused just outside the open door to the practice room, where I could see his muddled reflection against the smooth, finished wood. His head was bent over the keys, so intent on his playing that he didn't notice as I moved closer to the doorway, feeling the overwhelming need to actually _see_ him.

I peeked around the edge of the doorframe, and felt my breath catch in my throat as I watched Edward play, his fingers flying gracefully across the keys as the song became even more intense, if that was possible. I could see his expression clearly now, his beautiful face marred by a frown of concentration, and my fingers itched to smooth away the deep furrow in his brow. At the same time, I never wanted him to stop playing; I had never seen anything more beautiful in all of my life.

It felt like an eternity had passed as I stood there, now leaning completely against the doorframe, watching Edward play out his emotions more easily with music than I could have ever done with words. Overwhelmed by everything I was feeling in that moment, I almost didn't notice when his playing ceased, the last notes fading away as silence filled the room, almost deafening in its absoluteness.

His head was still bent over the piano, and I realized he still hadn't seen me—for a moment I considered fleeing, suddenly feeling like the worst kind of voyeur. I took half a step back, but the sound of my heel scraping against the floor made his head snap up, his intense gaze landing upon me, freezing me in place.

The look of raw pain in Edward's green eyes made me gasp aloud, all thoughts of escaping having fled my mind the moment our eyes met; I felt as though I had just been punched in the gut, my instinctual reaction to comfort him overcoming all sense of self-preservation in that moment. I took two steps forward before I realized what I was doing. It took all I had to remember to breathe as I took another step and reached out one hand, tentatively, to touch his shoulder. He shuddered under my touch, but didn't pull away, and for a moment neither of us spoke, the tension in the air too thick for words to penetrate.

I didn't understand any of this; my reaction to his playing and seeing him in pain, his allowance of my touch, the continued silence. None of it made any _sense_! We should be screaming at each other, not standing here in complete silence, my hand on his shoulder like we were on friendly terms. _But you want to be,_ my mind whispered treacherously. _Ever since that first day, no matter what you tried to tell yourself or Alice, you've wanted to get to know him better._

Before I could dive any deeper into that disturbing pool of thoughts, Edward drew a shuddering breath and pushed back from the piano, my hand falling from his shoulder as he stood. The pain in his eyes was gone, replaced by an empty, dull expression that was equally as disturbing to me. I had never seen him look so…lifeless before. I almost wished the anger would return; anything to give his eyes something other than that dead, defeated look.

"You shouldn't be here," he said quietly, his tone flat. I waited for him to say something else, to yell or mock me for watching him, but he only turned away and walked out the room, leaving me alone in the practice room. Unexpectedly, I felt tears prick my eyes and I bit my lip, furiously willing them away. Why the hell would I cry over his dismissal of me, like I was some lovesick little-

My eyes widened as that word reverberated in my mind. _Lovesick. Oh. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no._ Somewhere, between the anger and the insults, that unexpected kiss at the bar, and today, I had developed actual feelings for Edward Masen. _Well, that's great. Now what are you going to do?_ The little nagging voice in my head sounded smug and I wanted to strangle my subconscious for hiding this little tidbit of information from me for so long.

I groaned and sat down on the piano bench, putting my head in my hands, utterly distraught as I realized my subconscious was right and I did like him, a lot more than I should after the way he'd been treating me. There was just something so intriguing about him, something that kept drawing me back time and time again to discover the real Edward that I knew was somewhere beyond the anger and the anti-social attitude.

I needed to figure out how to get past his defenses and find out who the real Edward was. The real problem was, I had no idea where to even start.

---

_Two weeks later…_

"Bella!" Alice beamed at me from the doorway to her apartment, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me inside before I'd even had time to say hello. "Come on, I've got your costume all ready!"

Alice hadn't even let me come up with an idea for a costume on my own, practically begging me to just give in and let her dress me for one night. I was already beginning to understand which battles were worth fighting with Alice, and this wasn't one of them, so I gave in and reminded her of the rules we had agreed to about the type of costume I would wear. She'd assured me that I would have absolutely no problem with what she had in mind, so all I could do was wait until the day of the party and hope that Alice hadn't gone overboard.

As she pulled me through the living room and towards her bedroom, I caught sight of Jasper in the kitchen, artfully stretching cobwebs across the light fixtures. He saluted me solemnly, aware of my fate, and I glumly waved in return before Alice pulled me into the bedroom and shut the door behind me.

"Bella, stop looking like you're waiting for your execution or something. I told you, there's nothing to be worried about." Alice gave me a half-strength version of her pout and grabbed a garment bag off the bed, hanging it on the back of the bedroom door. "Now, I couldn't get it as accurate as I wanted, since I didn't have a lot of time to work with, but it'll look fabulous on you anyway." Unzipping the bag, she removed two smaller bags before she pulled out possibly the most beautiful, elegant dress I had ever seen in my life.

It was a deep, rich midnight blue, with an empire waist and short puffed sleeves. The dress was floor-length, with the blue overskirt ending a few inches above the floor to reveal an underskirt of a creamy ivory silk, which matched the embroidered ivory sash. Almost reverently, I reached out and brushed my fingers against the skirt, completely shocked that Alice had picked out something like this for me to wear.

"Alice, it's…_beautiful_. Thank you." I looked up from the dress to see Alice grinning at me, nearly vibrating in place as she pushed the dress towards me.

"There are appropriate undergarments in the other bag, along with shoes and gloves, so you'll be all set." Now beaming, she hopped over to her dresser and snatched a blue velvet box off the top, handing it to me. "And your jewelry, of course. I remembered you mentioning that you love Jane Austen and I just figured this would be perfect for you."

"It really is," I couldn't stop touching the dress, marveling again at just how pretty it was. I only hoped it would look half as good when I was wearing it. Alice helped me get into the undergarments, tying the stays just tight enough so that I would be able to breathe during the night while still retaining the right shape for the dress to lay perfectly.

And lay perfectly it did; when Alice had finished tying the ivory sash around my waist, she spun me around to face the floor-length mirror and I gasped at my reflection, not recognizing myself for a moment as a tall, slender young woman looked back at me. The deep color of the dress made my normally pale skin almost glow, the ivory of my gloves, sash, and the underskirt contrasting perfectly with the blue. Letting me admire myself for a few more minutes, Alice finally pushed me towards her vanity, where she started on my hair and makeup. The makeup she left mostly natural, just accenting my lips and eyes enough to draw them out, while my hair she curled and coifed into an elaborate up-do, threading ivory ribbon across the top of my head as a headband, and adding a few pearl-ended hairpins for effect, to match the pearl necklace and earrings she had chosen.

"There," she said finally, admiring her handiwork as I stared at my reflection in awe. Feeling tears gather at the corners of my eyes, I turned around in the chair and surprised us both by enveloping the tiny woman in a tight hug, hoping I wouldn't actually cry and ruin all of her hard work.

"Alice, I really…this is just amazing. Thank you so much." I bit my lip, a blush coloring my cheeks as I checked my reflection out in the mirror once again. "I don't think I've ever looked this nice before."

Sounding suspiciously choked-up herself, Alice patted my head gently, careful of my curls, and smiled at me. "It's the least I could do for my best friend, and you deserve it." Sniffling a bit, she pushed me away and her smile brightened. "Now, go out to the living room and relax with Jasper while I get ready!"

I did as she commanded, finding Jasper in the living room, now dressed as an 18th century British naval officer, complete with tricorn hat and sword. When I commented on how commanding and handsome he looked, Jasper merely ducked his head, glancing back at the closed bedroom door before he admitted that he would have rather dressed as a Civil War officer, but Alice had refused to let him wear the same costume two years in a row, and this was the compromise.

It was about that time that the first guests began to arrive, mostly friends of Alice and Jasper, though I recognized a few people from St. Martins, including Emmett, who was dressed as the devil, complete with a snappy red suit, shoes, and horns. He kept laughing maniacally every once and a while, loud enough to carry over the music Alice had put on the sound system. Apparently, the laughter and the suit were a magnet for the ladies; when I finally got tired of being a wallflower and went into the kitchen where Alice and Jasper were, I could see Emmett talking with three women, all of whom looked like they would cheerfully sell their soul to him.

Near Emmett, a man dressed as the Dread Pirate Roberts from _The Princess Bride_ was leaning against the wall, being talked at by a curly-haired redhead who was dressed as Tinkerbell. He looked bored (though it was hard to decipher his facial expression when he was wearing a mask) and the redhead soon wandered away for a more willing victim. As she wandered away, Roberts looked at me and the corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk, which made me blush and hurry into the kitchen. I really didn't need the hassle of anyone trying to flirt with me tonight, even if his green eyes reminded me of the man that continued to frustratingly occupy my thoughts at all times.

Jasper was in charge of the bar at that moment, mixing up drinks for anyone who needed one, and I gratefully drank two martinis before I finally relaxed, listening to Alice chatter with some of the other guests who had arrived, most of them friends who lived in the building or who had worked with Jasper on a show. They ignored me for the most part aside from Alice's introductions, and I knew I'd never remember any of their names, which was perfectly fine. I was perfectly content just hanging out with Jasper and drinking my martini while he told stories about all the strange things that happened during his various theatre experiences. Every once and I while, I would get the feeling that someone was staring at me and I'd turn around, but no one seemed to be paying me any attention, not even the Dread Pirate Roberts, who was in the living room, his back turned to me. Great, so not only was I imaging people staring at me, the one guy who _had_ been staring at me wasn't even interested anymore. Either I needed to stop drinking, or drink some more, because I seriously leaning towards locking myself in Alice's bathroom and staying there until the party was over.

Sometime into Jasper's third retelling of a particularly odd story about a production of _A Midsummer Night's Dream _and a goat, the doorbell rang again. Alice was engrossed in the story, so I took my third martini with me into the living room and opened the door for the newest guest, wondering why Alice didn't just leave it unlocked and let people wander in as they pleased, since there seemed to be all manner of people already crowding the apartment--I wasn't sure if she knew even half of the guests.

When the door was open, I found myself suddenly face to face with Edward's blonde companion from the play, the awkward Ophelia, who was surveying me with some disdain. She was wearing a tight-fitting white silk dress that showed off her perfectly toned legs and very generous cleavage, and had a golden, sparkling halo perched atop her wavy, long blond hair. A pair of feathery wings completed the outfit, which made me think more of a porno film than any sort of biblical angel. Could she be any _less_ classy looking?

"Hmm. You must be the infamous Bella," she said, her voice cool as she looked me over, her blue eyes taking in every detail of my appearance as though she were looking for any fault she could find. "I've heard _so_ much about you." Her tone left no doubt that whatever she had heard, it had not been good, and I wondered if it had been Edward or Jasper who had spoken of me. Probably Edward; I couldn't imagine Jasper badmouthing anyone.

"That would be me." I admitted, doing my best to be polite. The blonde frowned at me and I squared my shoulders, refusing to let this woman make me feel like I was inferior, even if her looks would make a Victoria's Secret model weep with envy. "And you are…?"

"Rosalie Hale," she said imperiously, her gaze sliding away from me and resting on Jasper and Alice, who had come over to greet their guest. Taking a step forward, she angled herself so that I was blocked by one of her large wings, and smiled brightly at the pair. "Jasper, Alice, thank you so much for inviting me. You know how much I love your parties."

"Rosalie, you look lovely, as usual." Jasper acknowledged her with a slightly bow, raising one eyebrow as he took in her appearance. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought she looked ridiculous. Smiling now, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, Jasper gave Alice a nudge. "Alice, why don't you get Rosalie a drink? I think there's a bottle of vodka with her name on it hiding somewhere in the kitchen."

"Come on, Rose," Alice caught Jasper's look, and her own smile never wavered as she grabbed Rosalie by the hand, leading her away from us and towards the kitchen. "I'll make you a cosmo and you can catch me up on all the gossip."

I watched them go, feeling suddenly hollow inside. How could I ever compete with someone like Rosalie, who was possibly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen? She was already close with Edward, judging by their kiss at the theatre, which left me at a considerable disadvantage. My own feelings for Edward had only gotten more confusing since our encounter in the practice room; he'd gone back to ignoring and avoiding me, and I had done the same, afraid of what would happen the next time we met. And now I was faced with Rosalie, her utter physical perfection contrasting harshly with my pale, dull features. The realization that I would never reach that level of beauty and poise made me feel sick, though the fact that I had polished off my martini in one swift gulp might have had something to do with that feeling.

"Don't let Rosalie get to you," I had almost forgotten Jasper was still standing next to me. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder, his expression one of mild annoyance. "She hates competing for attention and compensates for her insecurity by being an utter bitch."

I couldn't quite wrap my mind around that concept and stared at him, utterly confused. How could I pose as competition for anything? "What could _she_ possibly be insecure about?"

"Oh, a lot of things. Most people only see her looks and judge her on that, but they don't realize that she's still a person and has feelings." He squeezed my shoulder once and let go, shaking his head. "She's also just a half-way decent actress, which is why she tends to be bitchy around me; there was a lot of talk about _how_ she got the part of Ophelia, which lead to some pretty nasty rumors."

Unexpectedly, I felt bad for Rosalie, but the drunken, petty part of my mind reminded me that I had seen her with Edward and that automatically disqualified her from receiving my pity. I ignored the sound of the doorbell ringing again and left the task of buzzing in the next guest to Jasper, who gave me a worried look before he went to open the door. On my way through the living room, I noticed Roberts was still standing against the wall, now being assaulted by a skinny brunette in a cheap vinyl nurses uniform, complete with big red crosses on her breasts. He looked up suddenly, obviously having caught sight of me crossing the room, and I hurried out of the living room and onto the apartment's empty balcony. Apparently, I couldn't decide if I wanted him to look at me or not; either way, I felt discomforted by his attention.

As it so often had over the past…well, ever since the first day of classes, my mind drifted to Edward and our complicated existence. It wasn't a relationship, and I could count the number of actual conversations we'd had on one hand. But at the same time, I couldn't deny that he'd deeply ingrained himself into my subconscious. The dream Alice had interrupted after the night at the bar had not been the last time I had dreamed of Edward Masen, although (to both my embarrassment and delight) many of the dreams now consisted of us just…talking. My desire to kiss him again was warring with my desire to just have a normal conversation with him that didn't end in one of us running away from the other. I just wanted to know more about him, anything that would help me make sense of his behavior.

It was no longer possible to deny the fact that I had feelings for him, feelings that could possibly be described as romantic. And I couldn't deny that the very idea both thrilled and terrified me; I didn't even know if he was a decent person, beyond the very obvious anger management issues. What if he really was just an utter prick and had no redeeming qualities? I highly doubted that was the case, although the logical part of my mind rationalized that I had only been witness to one moment of non-asshole behavior in all of our encounters, so the odds were not exactly in his favor.

The wind picked up and at that moment, bitterly cold for this time of year, and I wished Alice had thought to include a wrap of some kind with this outfit. As beautiful as it was, the short sleeves and low neckline did nothing to keep the chill of the October air away, and I was starting to shiver.

The sound of footsteps alerted me to the fact that I was no longer alone. Turning, I spotted the black-clad figure of the Dread Pirate Roberts standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. I turned around again, clutching the metal railing to keep myself from fleeing, feeling angry and ashamed by my own reaction. Whoever he was, he was just a man, and I had no reason to run away; there were too many people in the living room _not_ to hear me scream if he tried anything. And I didn't think Alice would have deliberately invited anyone who was a danger to her guests.

"I'd like to be alone, if you don't mind." I made my voice as haughty as possible, hoping that he would take the hint and just go away. Instead, the footsteps came closer, and I could feel the heat of his body as he drew nearer, almost touching me now. I took a deep breath and was assaulted with a smell that was both eerily familiar and strange at the same time; cloves, citrus, and something else that was both masculine and warm, which I couldn't quite place. For a moment, my mind reeled with the memory of my kiss with Edward and I felt myself flush with heat, my cheeks coloring as I tried to push back my sudden, inappropriate reaction to the proximity of a complete stranger. There was no way…

"I just wanted to tell you that…you look…amazing." Edward's unmistakable voice sounded in my ear, soft and velvety. Shock filled my mind; how the hell hadn't I noticed that the Dread Pirate Roberts was _Edward_? Had I been that distracted by my own melancholy?

I turned around to look at him; we were so close, almost touching, and I could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Why did he always seem to find me when I was alone and intoxicated, never completely in control of my own emotions? I was never in control around him, and that scared me more than I wanted to admit. It also pissed me the hell off.

"What is your problem?" I demanded, frustrated as all hell by yet another change in his attitude towards me. This was getting old, fast, and my frustration was only heightened by my physical reaction to his presence. How was it fair that he could make me want to melt into a puddle by just looking at me? "First you hate me, then you _kiss_ me, then you hate me _again,_ and now you're telling me I look nice? Your multiple personalities are really starting to get annoying, you know."

He looked taken aback by my outburst and physically stepped back from me, his arms crossing over his chest. The nearly sheer black linen shirt did little to hide the definition of his muscles beneath and I tore my gaze away from his chest to look up at his face, which was twisted in his familiar scowl.

"Excuse me for trying to be polite to you for once," he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "But I guess it's a waste to compliment someone as ungracious as you are."

My jaw dropped. Now I was ungracious? "Why don't you find some other girl to insult? I'm sure Nurse McBoobies back there wouldn't mind if you called her a bitch. She probably gets off on stuff like that." Livid, I tried to get past him to go back inside, but he grabbed my arm, halting me in my tracks.

"Bella, wait-"

"No, Edward, I'm tired of waiting." I sighed, my anger vanishing just as quickly as it had formed, leaving only a defeated exhaustion in its wake. "You don't like me, I don't like you. Just leave me alone, okay?."

Instead of letting me go, Edward grabbed my other arm with his free hand and spun me around to face him. For what seemed like an hour, but was probably just a minute, we stood there, just looking at each other. Nervously, I shifted in his grasp, waiting for whatever horrible thing was going to come next. _Just…do something already. Hit me, yell at me hell, even, kiss me…just do SOMETHING!_

The minute the thought entered my mind, Edward lifted a hand from my arm and cupped my cheek, his gaze roaming across my face before settling on my lips. _Is he going to kiss me? Please say he's going to kiss me, please, please, please. _Instead of kissing me, his gaze lifted and met my own, his expression suddenly full of fear. Before I could say or do anything, he had dropped his hand and fled back into the apartment, leaving me dazed and alone on the balcony.

_What the hell just happened?_ Reeling from Edward's sudden departure, I tried to follow him, but as I reached the living room I saw the door closing behind a flash of black cloth and realized that he had left the party all together. My confusion was replaced briefly with anger, but settled quickly into a sadness that made something within me twist painfully. Whatever had just almost happened, it was clear that he wanted nothing more to do with me tonight.

Fighting back tears, I went to sit next to Jasper, who was on the couch, talking to a group of people who looked like they belonged in some sort of art house horror film, complete with tacky fake blood. He looked at me, then at the now-closed front door and raised an eyebrow, but I shook my head and he didn't pry, returning his attention to the conversation. I said a silent prayer of thanks for that small miracle, and leaned back against the couch, pretending to be interested in whatever the group was talking about.. I didn't hear a word they spoke; all I could think about was what Edward had said to me on the balcony.

"_You look…amazing."_

His words, coupled with his reaction to my proximity, made me consider something I hadn't even dared to before tonight, something wonderful yet utterly terrifying at the same time. Maybe he actually _liked_ me.

If he did (and there was still the possibility that I was totally delusional) it looked like fate had put the choice in my hands.

If I wanted Edward Masen, I was going to have to take the first step.

---

A/N: So, what is Bella going to do now? :D And we haven't seen the last of Asshole Edward or Rosalie, believe me.

I would love to break 100 reviews with this chapter, especially since I'm not 100% thrilled with how things flowed. This would be the time to let me know what you liked and didn't like, so I can possibly go back and edit it later (I'm an utter perfectionist when it comes to my writing, hence why this chapter took so freaking long to write).

As always, the WFSW thread on Twilighted is the best place for detailed discussions/criticism—I'd love to see some more action there, especially since I love talking about this fic and hearing what other people hope will happen. The link to the exact thread is in my profile.


	7. Caffeinated Conversations

**A/N**: Wow, it's been a while, huh? Thank you everyone who was patient and encouraged me to keep going—I hit some writer's block shortly after I posted the last chapter and had a really hard time getting anything to come out right.

As always, thanks to my amazing beta, americnxidiot! You should all go check out her fics as well—a link to her stories is in my profile, along with the answers to some often-asked questions about this story.

For some reason, it won't let me format the email addresses as email addresses, so bear with me on this one.

---

"_You look…amazing."_

_His words, coupled with his reaction to my proximity, made me consider something I hadn't even dared to before tonight, something wonderful yet utterly terrifying at the same time. Maybe he actually __liked__ me._

_If he did (and there was still the possibility that I was totally delusional) it looked like fate had put the choice in my hands._

_If I wanted Edward Masen, I was going to have to take the first step._

---

The Monday morning after Alice and Jasper's party dawned bright and clear. I woke before my alarm clock went off, feeling unusually nervous about going to work today. It wasn't as though I'd run into Edward anywhere but the staff lounge at lunchtime, but I had this gut feeling that just avoiding him wasn't going to be an option anymore. I also couldn't deny that there was a large part of me that _wanted_ to see him, to deal with whatever this screwed-up baggage was between us, and maybe get him to actually tolerate me long enough to be actual friends. Outside of Rosalie, I wondered if he even had any real friends. I had never seen him interacting with any of the other staff except the dean, and then there were those girls from the party--though they had been talking _at_ him, not to him.

As if reading my reluctant thoughts, the alarm clock went off, blaring "Walking on Sunshine" at me as though the radio gods themselves were mocking my pensive state of mind. Cursing under my breath, I shut the radio off and crawled out of bed, heading straight for the kitchen and my first cup of coffee.

One more cup of coffee, a shower, and a change of clothes later, I grabbed my bag and my peacoat and headed off to school, enjoying the sunny, slightly warmer than usual weather as I waited for the train. For the first time in weeks, my commute was swift and I was actually earlier than usual, which meant I had time to stop at the coffee shop in the lobby for one more dose of caffeine before school started.

Giving my order to the barista, I watched the occupants of the building pass through the lobby as I waited for my drink, trying to identify some of the students I saw by name. I was getting better, though still not perfect; the troublemakers were the easiest to pick out, since I knew them all by name and by sight, but some of the more quiet kids I still struggled to name.

The revolving doors moved again and I froze, seeing a familiar mop of wild bronze hair exit the doors and come into the lobby. I hadn't been in the building ten minutes yet, and already I was running into him. Either luck was on my side today and he hadn't seen me, or he was ignoring me on purpose because, to my surprise, Edward walked right past me in the lobby and went to the elevator without so much as a glance in my direction.

"Triple shot café latte," the barista called out, placing my drink on the counter. I would probably die of a caffeine overdose by lunch, but it would be worth it. After taking the first sip of my delicious addiction, I began to relax a little more and caught the elevator up to St. Martin's, waving to Tyler as I headed inside the school. It was still early enough that there weren't many students or staff in the halls, so I made my way to the library in relative peace and quiet.

The library was dark when I arrived and I was a little surprised, since Mrs. Jackson was usually here well before me. Shrugging, I went inside and flipped on the lights, sat down at my own computer. I'd neglected my school email for the last few days, and I actually had the time to catch up before Mrs. Jackson arrived. Sorting my unread messages to show the oldest first, I settled in to read.

Most of the emails were the daily staff memos, most of which I had already gotten in paper form via my staff mailbox in the office. Lots of messages from my library mailing lists, which I dumped without reading. I'd been meaning to trim those down at some point anyway. The last few emails were forwards from Alice, mostly funny pictures or silly quotes. I looked at and read those so that she wouldn't yell at me for not knowing what she was talking about during lunch.

Just as I was about to log off, my computer made a chiming sound, signaling the arrival of a new email. Glancing at the clock, I decided that I had enough time to read one more email before I needed to start my work, and clicked on the message.

_To: iswan_

_From: emasen _

_Subject; (none)_

_Triple shot latte? Still recovering from the party, I see._

I blinked, staring at the screen in utter amazement. What the hell was Edward doing, emailing me? And about my coffee order, no less? Apparently he had noticed me in the lobby this morning, despite my observation to the contrary.

But emailing me out of the blue, after being a complete jackass on Saturday night? This whole split personality thing of his was starting to really bug me, but I couldn't see the harm in humoring him with a reply. If it degenerated into another argument, I could simply mark all his emails as spam and be done with it.

_To: __emasen_

_From: __iswan_

_Subject: Re: (none)_

_There was nothing to recover from. I just really love coffee._

_-Bella_

While I waited for his reply, I took the time to tidy up the library—not that it needed cleaning, but I needed something to do with myself besides wait at my computer like an anxious teenage girl waiting for her crush to call. As badly as I wanted him to like me (and after what happened on Saturday I had the feeling that, somewhere deep down, he actually did and just didn't want to admit it) I wasn't going to ignore everything else in my life to wait on his words.

The chime sounded just as I was turning on the handful of computers that we kept in the library. Forcing myself to walk across the room instead of dashing for my computer like a crazy person, I sat down and grabbed my coffee, opening his reply message.

_  
__To: __iswan_

_From: __emasen_

_Subject: Re: (none)_

_Right. I'm sure the multiple martinis I saw you drinking had no effect whatsoever._

_-E_

I rolled my eyes—so much for this email exchange being anything other than our usual bickering. Where did he get off lecturing me about what I drank at a party? Annoyed with myself for even hoping we could talk like normal people, and pissed at him for being a dick for absolutely no reason, I typed out a quick reply, fingers clacking furiously on the keys.

_To: __emasen_

_From: __iswan_

_Subject: Re: (none)_

_You can't even be civil via email, can you?_

_-Bella_

Feeling satisfied in my scolding, I left the library and went to the main office to get my mail and the daily events schedule. While I was there, one of the administrative assistants called me over to let me know that Mrs. Jackson had called out sick and I was on my own for the day. Groaning at the thought of being left alone with hyperactive teenagers for eight hours, I let the assistant know I could handle things and headed back to the library to finish getting ready for the day. When I got back to my desk, there was a new email from Edward waiting in my inbox.

I barely took the time to sit down before I opened his reply.

_To: __iswan_

_From: __emasen_

_Subject: Re: (none)_

_ You can't even be civil via email, can you?_

_Apparently not. Enjoy your latte._

_-E_

Well, that was unexpected. I had thought there would have been a scathing retort about my lack of manners or something equally cruel. It sounded as thought he was almost…sad, like I had hurt his feelings by being snippy with him. Taking a sip from my drink, I tried for the subtle apology angle in my response, hoping that I hadn't pissed him off too badly.

_To: __emasen_

_From: __iswan_

_Subject: Re: (none)_

_I will. Enjoy your classes? And try not to dazzle the freshmen girls—I have them after your lessons and it gets really annoying to listen to them moon over you._

_-Bella_

I hit send as soon as I finished typing, then realized what I had written in a moment of sheer panic. Could I possible sound any more like a complete dork? Dazzling the freshmen? I mean, yes, he really did do that--some of them had taken to doodling 'Mrs. Edward Masen' on their notebooks—but still. What on Earth had possessed me to tell him such a thing?

The chime sounded again and, feeling like I was walking towards my own grave, I reluctantly clicked on the new message.

_To: __iswan_

_From: __emasen_

_Subject: Dazzle_

_Do I really dazzle them?_

_-E_

Oh God, what was I supposed to say to that? That not only did he dazzle the freshmen, but also the entire female population of the school, students and staff alike? Hell, there were days that I could see old Mrs. Cope, one of the administrators, making eyes at him across the staff lounge.

_To: __emasen_

_From: __iswan_

_Subject: Re: Dazzle_

_Yes, you do. The freshman AND the sophomores, though they're better about hiding their disappointment when you don't flirt back with them. Poor things._

_-Bella_

When I opened his reply, I nearly spit out my latte all over my keyboard.

_To: __iswans_

_From: __emasen_

_Subject: Re: Dazzle_

_Hmm._

_Do I dazzle you?_

_-E_

I had backed myself into a corner with this one. There was no way I was going to tell him that he 'dazzled' me; that was ridiculous. I wasn't so much dazzled as I was seriously annoyed (yet fascinated) by him. Not that I was going to admit that either, but I still had to come up with some sort of response that didn't sound like I was trying to hide anything.

_To: __emasen_

_From: __iswan_

_Subject: Re: Dazzle_

_No. I am impervious to dazzling. It's something they teach us in library school, along with how to manage a caffeine addiction and the wrangling of lovesick teenage girls._

_-Bella_

Right. Totally and absolutely impervious to dazzling of any kind. I glanced at the clock on the wall and panicked, realizing it was almost time for the first class of the day. I hadn't even put out this morning's newspapers or put away the four books that had been returned to the library on Friday. Giving my computer one last, wistful glance, I ran around like a madwoman, trying to get everything done before the students arrived. Miraculously, my panic must have given me some sort of super speed burst, because I finished my tasks with enough time to quickly check my email one more time.

_To: __iswan_

_From: __emasen_

_Subject: Re: Dazzle_

_That is some impressive curriculum._

_-E_

The bell rang and I could hear the sound of students swarming into the halls, signaling the imminent arrival of my first class of the day. Hurriedly, I dashed off a last email to Edward, finishing the last of my latte in one gulp as I hit the 'send' button.

_To:__ emasen_

_From: __iswan_

_Subject: Re: Dazzle_

_We librarians are talented creatures. _

_My first class is here. Enjoy your dazzled teenagers._

_-Bella_

I closed my email, determined not to check it until at least lunchtime, and focused on the swarm of students flooding my library, their unnaturally animated behavior distracting me from thinking about my conversation with Edward for the remainder of the morning.

--

At lunch, I found myself hurrying to the staff lounge and forced myself to slow down; there was absolutely no reason to be excited about lunch, even if there was a chance of seeing Edward. He hadn't responded to my last email, though I hadn't expected him to, seeing as how he would have had classes from then until now, but even that reasonable expectation didn't stop me from feeling just a little bit disappointed.

As always, Alice was waiting for me when I arrived at the lounge, greeting me with a cheerful smile and a wave. Today I had brought my own lunch (a turkey sandwich, an apple, and some cheese and crackers leftover from the party), so I joined Alice at 'our' table and pulled out my lunch from my bag.

"And how is Miss Swan fairing on her first day alone?" Alice waved her carrot stick in my direction, like some sort of demented vegetable conductor, waiting for me to respond to her cue.

"Just fine, thank you. Liberal doses of caffeine do wonders to keep you sane when left alone with thirty teenagers at a time." I unwrapped my now-mushy sandwich, suddenly wishing I'd left the tomatoes off before I'd made it last night--it looked absolutely disgusting now. "Of course, being a counselor, you wouldn't have any idea how that goes, now would you?"

"_Au contraire, mademoiselle,_ I know exactly how that feels, except I get the entire student body at one time. Just you wait until my annual homecoming drinking assembly, when I break out the fake crime scene." Alice brightened suddenly, giving me a speculative look. "Speaking of which, are you chaperoning?"

"Homecoming?" I frowned, nibbling on the edge of my unappealing sandwich. "Isn't it a bit late for that?"

"Psh. We always do ours around Halloween—everyone else is done by then, so we're not conflicting with another school's dance." Alice leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. "Emmett and I both have chaperone duty…please say you'll come? No significant others allowed, so it's just going to be me and the oaf if you don't."

"Oaf? Alice Whitlock, I am many things, but an oaf is not one of them." Grinning cheerfully, Emmett appeared behind Alice, effortlessly lifting her out of her chair in a bear hug. "I am a handsome, hulking specimen of manhood—get it right!"

"Emmett! Put me dooooown!" Alice whined, struggling in his impossibly strong grip. I tried to hide my smile behind my hands, but Emmett caught me and grinned even wider before he set Alice down, taking one of the empty chairs at the table. Alice sat down again with a huff, her pretty face twisted in a serious pout.

"Come on, Bella, it'll be fun!" Emmett reached out and ruffled my hair. I tried to duck away, annoyed, but it didn't seem to lessen his unrelenting cheerfulness. "Just you, me and Alice. I'll even save you from having to dance with anyone!"

"And what if I want to dance with someone?" I picked up my sandwich again and sighed when it fell apart in my hands before I could even take a bite. Alice winced in sympathy and pushed her container of carrot sticks in my direction and I took one gratefully, making a mental note to never bring a fully-assembled sandwich in my lunch again.

"Then you can dance with anyone you'd like. But I'd be willing to bet twenty bucks that some over-eager senior tries to put the moves on you at some point." Emmett looked at Alice, who grinned and nodded, holding out her hand.

"I'm game," she said, giving me a bright smile. "Twenty bucks says that you scare everyone away before they can even get close enough to try." The pair shook hands, leaving me staring at them in shock.

"We're betting whether or not some underage boy tries to get in my pants? And we're assuming that one of them would _want_ to do such a thing?"

"Bella, have you seriously not noticed how some of the boys stare at you?" Alice looked at me in surprise, her jaw dropping when I shook my head. "Seriously? Oh my god, you're totally oblivious, Emmett, she doesn't _know_."

Emmett chuckled at Alice's obvious distress, patting her on the shoulder. "Relax kiddo. Bella doesn't need to know what the boys talk about in the locker room."

"They talk about me in the _locker room_?" I blushed as my voice squeaked on the last words, the very thought of teenage boys discussing anything about me making me want to hide under my desk and never come out.

"Just teenage guy stuff," Emmett assured me, giving Alice a dirty look as if to say 'Now look what you've done.' Alice took in my discomfort with the situation and sighed, pushing Emmett's hand off her shoulder in disgust.

"You're young and pretty, Bella, even if you don't see it. They're teenage boys—it's harmless crushing, nothing more." She glared at Emmett, who refused to back down under her scathing look. "Some people just think its fine to tell anyone and everyone what their students say in a _safe _environment"

"You're the one who asked me about it!" Looking offended, Emmett made a grab for Alice's carrot sticks, holding them hostage while she squealed in fury, making a vain attempt to grab them back as he held them far above her head.

"Guys!" I put my head in my hands, completely embarrassed by their antics. Apparently, the other staff members were quite used to them acting like small children, since no one paid us any attention except for an eyeroll or two. "Seriously, just forget it, okay? I'll chaperone homecoming with you, and you can have your stupid bet."

Her carrot sticks suddenly forgotten, Alice grabbed me in a tight hug, grinning brightly. "This is going to be awesome, Bella! We'll have to go shopping and find you a dress!"

At my look of horror, Emmett burst out laughing and patted me on the shoulder, managing a sympathetic look despite his grin. "You'll be okay, Bella. It's just one shopping trip. How bad can it be?"

---

It was bad. Very, very bad.

Alice had decreed that we would go shopping on Friday afternoon, after classes let out for the day. Three stores and twenty-two dresses later, it was almost dinnertime and I was seriously considering ripping the sash off a dress and using it to strangle Alice. It should not be hard to find a dress to wear as a chaperone for a homecoming dance, but Alice had turned it into some sort of crusade to turn me into some sort of formal sexy librarian fantasy and I knew it had everything to do with her bet with Emmett. It was almost as if she _wanted_ to lose the bet, the consequences of which I didn't even want to think about. I really didn't need any horny teenage boys trying to turn my life into a bad Lifetime movie about forbidden love between a teacher and her student.

"Bella, would you just come out of there and let me see?" Alice's demanding tone made me scowl again and I pushed aside the dressing room curtain, letting her view the latest monstrosity of a dress that she'd pulled off a rack for me.

"Ugh, never mind. Take if off and try this one instead." She thrust a wad of burgundy silk at me and I let the curtain fall again, doing as my fashion slave driver asked. Throwing the offending outfit back out at Alice (and secretly hoping it hit her in the face), I tried on the next dress and almost screamed when I caught sight of myself in the mirror.

"Do you WANT me to lose my job?" Furious, I unzipped the dress—which barely covered my ass—and tossed it back out at Alice, who made a disgusted sound and handed me another dress. This one was black and plain and I thought for a moment she had given up on me entirely and had decided to take the opposite route of 'sultry teacher' and go for the 'convent chic' look.

However, once I got the dress on, I had to admit Alice was on to something. The dress fit me like a second skin, the cut of the fabric showing off all of my meager assets without actually showing any cleavage. It ended just above my knee, the skirt hugging my hips and making me look classy _and_ hot at the same time.

"Well?" Alice's impatience was evident and she twitched the curtain aside, her eyes widening when she caught sight of me. "Oooh, perfect! You really need to wear more pencil skirts, Bella—that's a good look for you."

I smoothed the fabric of the dress self-consciously, noting again how it seemed to hug every curve that I had somehow miraculously developed when I put the damn thing on. "Is it too fancy for homecoming?" I asked, still not entirely clear on the dress code for this event.

"Not at all. In fact, you'll look a lot classier than some of the students, so you're good to go." Alice gathered up the remaining discarded dresses and surveyed my appearance one more time, nodding in satisfaction. "He won't be able to keep his eyes off you."

"Wait, what?" I turned around, confused by Alice's words, but the little pixie had already disappeared with the reject pile, leaving me alone while I changed back into my jeans and sweater. Did Alice know something I didn't about one of the students?

After tying my shoes, I stepped out of the dressing room, clutching my new outfit, to find Alice waiting for me, a shoebox in hand. Before I could open my mouth to protest, she held up a hand, her expression stern. "I've seen your closet, Bella. You need shoes, and these are only kitten heels, so they won't kill you."

I sighed, knowing it was pointless to argue the point. I could trip in sneakers, so kitten heels were only slightly more dangerous than usual, and it wasn't worth the battle I knew would happen if I fought her on the subject. Instead, I decided to ask Alice about what she'd said in the dressing room. "Who isn't going to be able to keep their eyes off me, Alice?"

She looked surprised and then immediately guilty, as though she knew she'd let something slip that she shouldn't have. "Emmett swore me to secrecy," she said quietly, looking down at the shoebox in her hands. "So I really can't say."

"Alice, I will take this dress back right now and take my name off the chaperone list if you don't tell me." I shook the hangar to emphasize my point. Her eyes widened and she shook her head quickly, holding out a hand as if to physically stop me from doing such a thing.

"No, don't—it's…Eric Yorkie. The senior with the glasses and the weird cowlick?" She made a face and looked down at the shoebox again, fiddling with the lid. "Emmett overheard him talking about how hot you were in the locker room, and when he found out you were chaperoning the dance, well…" She trailed off, looking up at me with a wry smile.

"Alice, you are seriously trying to lose this bet, aren't you?" Sighing, I folded the dress over my arm and walked towards the counter to check-out, annoyed but unsurprised by her admission. I had known something was up ever since she and Emmett made that bet, and now I had to figure out a way to avoid Eric's advances while still supervising the rest of the students at the dance.

"Bella!" Alice caught up to me and snatched the dress out of my hands, laying it on the counter in front of the saleswoman along with the shoes. Before I could say anything, she had pulled out her credit card and handed it to the woman. When she saw my scowl, Alice merely shook her head and indicated the price that displayed on the tiny screen. "Do you really want to pay?"

I looked at the price and almost fell over, shocked that one dress and a pair of shoes could cost more than my rent for a month. "Alice, I can't possibly let you—"

"Hush. What else am I going to spend it on—more shoes for me?" Alice scoffed and signed the credit card slip, handing it back to the saleswoman with a casual shrug. "If you really want to pay me back, have brunch with my mom and I next Sunday, after the dance. I know she really wants to meet you."

"I can do that." I had a sudden vision of an older Alice bouncing around me and pinching my cheeks, but I shrugged it off, figuring I was just overreacting. Alice's mom couldn't be that bad. At least I hoped not. "What time?"

"We'll leave around nine-thirty. My parents live in Oak Brook, so we'll have to take my car to get there." Alice handed me the bag with my shoes and took the garment bag from the saleswoman, then jerked her head in the direction of the doors. "Let's get this stuff back to my place."

"Of course," I let Alice lead the way, knowing full well she would have never let me get ready on my own even if I wanted to. "The dance is at the Hotel 71, right?"

"Right." Alice paused to put on her gloves before we headed outside into the brisk October air, joining the crowds of shoppers and commuters that filled Michigan Avenue. "There's a fabulous view of the city from the ballroom—you'll die when you see it. It's not quite as nice as the place that we have prom every year, but it's definitely classy."

Alice lifted a hand and flagged down a cab, gesturing for me to get inside when one finally stopped for us. The ride home passed in relatively easy conversation, as Alice talked endlessly about the hotel where St. Martin's held their homecoming dance every year and all the crazy stunts that had been pulled while she'd been there. As I listened to her stories, I tried to ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach that this whole homecoming chaperone idea was going to be a disaster of epic proportions.

--

Next chapter, homecoming!

Much thanks to all the folks in the "Waiting For Something Wonderful" thread on Twilighted—your suggestions and encouragement always brighten my day. And that new fic will be going up soon, I promise!

02/17/09 - Yes, I know there hasn't been an update in a while. I'm having some serious family problems right now, in addition to my usual workload for school and my job, so I haven't been able to work on the story as much as I would like. Please, before you feel the need to leave me a nasty review or PM (and I've recieved quite a few), take the time to read the article on Fandom Ettiquette on the Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster, the link to which is in my profile. Nasty PM's that call me names and involve threats only make me less willing to spend my precious free time on writing.

For those of you who have been patient and encouraging, THANK YOU. I really do hope to get this chapter out before the end of February and your encouragement and excitment about the story means a lot to me.


	8. Homecoming

**OH MY GOD, AN UPDATE! I'm not dead, this is shorter than I wanted it to be, but I wanted to give you guys SOMETHING rather than making you wait another month.**

**School ends for me on May 15****th****, so look for more frequent updates after then! And if you haven't read the (relatively short) first chapter of my new fic, **_**The Arrangement**_**, go do that right now! **

**Unbeta'd in my haste to get this posted—please let me know if you find any errors!**

---

The week passed quickly, in a blur of the customary homecoming 'spirit' activities and the news that the hotel we had chosen to hold the dance at had found some sort of mold growing in their ceiling, forcing us to hold the dance in the 'auditorium' that took up the third floor of the school. Alice, who was supervising the homecoming committee, nearly had an aneurysm and spent most of the week begging me to help her with re-arranging deliveries to be made to the school and decorating the otherwise bland third floor. I didn't mind helping—it kept my mind off of Edward, who I had not seen since our email exchange.

I knew he was at school and teaching, since I overheard two of the senior girls discussing their piano lessons with him, but I never managed to catch sight of him in the halls or at lunch, nor did I receive any further emails from him. So flustered by his disappearing act, I even took to getting to school fifteen minutes early, just in case I could catch him in the lobby while I was getting coffee.

It was honestly pathetic and by Friday, I was disgusted with myself for caring so much about what he thought of me. I was no better than the teenage girls I had spoken of, being dazzled by him. I spent most of Friday night on my couch with Alice, watching re-runs of _What Not to Wear_ and listening to her lambaste the unfortunate fashion victims while devouring an entire carton of shrimp fried rice.

Saturday afternoon, I took a shower and packed an overnight bag, since I would be staying the night at Alice's rather than going home. Jasper was just leaving as I arrived at their place and gave my a sympathetic smile before Alice seized me by the arm and dragged me into their bathroom, muttering under her breath about not having enough time to work her magic. When she was finally finished with me, nearly two hours later

We took a cab to the school rather than the train, since Alice had a thing about riding the El when we were all dressed up. Since we were chaperoning, we were there far earlier than the students, and Alice walked us all through the game plan for the night. Students were not allowed anywhere but the third floor, and anyone found trying to sneak out (or sneak anything in) would be detained in the teacher's lounge until their parents arrived to pick them up. We were also supposed to discourage any 'overly-sexual' dancing, mostly for the benefit of the few parents who would inevitably find out and throw a hissy fit.

There were only a handful of chaperones besides Alice, Emmet, and I: Mrs. Young, who was an elderly English teacher, and Mr. Bartlet, one of the guidance councilors. Both of them looked exceedingly bored with the whole occasion.

"Sorry I'm late, Alice." A familiar, melodic voice sounded behind me and I whirled, finding myself face-to-face with a tousled, suit-wearing Edward, who was very pointedly _not_ looking at me.

Alice grinned and shook her head, none-too-subtly nudging me in the leg with one of her pointy-toed shoes. "Not a problem! I figured you wouldn't be here until the concert was over. How did it go?"

"It went well, thank you." Edward shifted uncomfortably, and looked over towards the doors which lead to the other floors of the school. I wondered why he was so eager to get away—could it be because of me? "I just wanted to let you know I've arrived."

"Go ahead, Edward. Let me know if you see anything unusual." Alice nodded and Edward walked away, having not acknowledged my presence at all during the conversation.

"Alice, you didn't tell me he was going to be here." I gave my best friend a sharp look and she looked down, her expression guilty.

"I didn't want you to get nervous," she explained, having the grace to look somewhat embarrassed.

"Still, you should have told me." Left unsaid was the fact that if I had known, I might not have gawked at him like a complete idiot. He looked _amazing_ in a suit, his hair even more unruly than usual, like he'd been running his hands through it over and over again.

"Next time, I promise." Perking up, Alice looked out over the dance floor, where the students seemed to be having quite a good time dancing to the music being played by the DJ. Catching sight of two seniors having an _extra_ good time, Alice's expression turned severe and she stalked towards the dance floor, her tiny frame parting through the sea of students without hesitation.

Leaving Alice to her school-sanctioned cockblocking, I made my way over to the drinks table where Emmett was standing, a cup of florescent-colored punch in his hand.

"Don't you clean up well," I teased. He looked up from his cup and grinned, looking me up and down before giving me an exaggerated wink.

"Not so bad yourself, Miss Swan. I see Alice's shopping trip was a success." He handed me a fresh cup of punch, which I took reluctantly. I knew Alice had tested everything the caterers had provided, but the florescent green drink didn't inspire much hope.

"I didn't even think you owned a suit, Emmett." I shook my head when he opened his mouth to protest my assumption. "And that pimp devil outfit from Halloween doesn't count."

"I can clean up when I need to," Waving off my comments, Emmett refilled his empty glass and leaned against the wall, giving me an appraising look. "And apparently so can you. I'm going to have to beat them off you with a stick, I can tell."

"What about your bet with Alice?" I gave Emmett a pointed look, which he shrugged off with a grin.

"I'll win it, either way. Trust me, I know these things."

Suspicious of his confidence, I crossed my arms and frowned at him. "You didn't bribe Eric Yorkie into dancing with me, did you?"

"Would I do something like that?" Emmett's face was the picture of innocence, but I'd already developed a keen bullshit sense thanks to dealing with teenagers on a daily basis, so I didn't buy his act for once second. When my expression didn't change, Emmett grinned. "You're right, of course I would. Except I didn't, because I don't need to."

"Whatever you say." Ignoring Emmett's chuckle, I let my eyes scan the dance floor, passing over the seemingly well-behaved students in search of one particular face. I couldn't help the sigh of disappointment when Edward was nowhere to be found amongst the crowd.

"He's not here," Emmett said quietly, sipping from his cup of punch. "Alice put him on patrol on one of the lower floors, in case some kid gets the idea to get frisky with their dance partner in private."

"I wasn't looking for anyone," I said quickly, but it was only a half-hearted protest at best, and when Emmett merely raised an eyebrow, I sighed again. "That obvious, huh?"

"The two of you have some seriously confusing vibes, Bella," he replied, shaking his head, at what I could only assume was disappointment at my foolishness. "I can't tell whether you want to fuck him or kill him."

I almost dropped my cup in shock. "Emmett!"

"What?" He shrugged and continued on in a lower voice, as if conferring upon me some terrible secret. "I'm just saying, you two have a thing, and it's pretty obvious to anyone who's seen the two of you in the same room."

"And when have you done that?" I couldn't help the scowl that formed on my face, and Emmett backed off just slightly, holding his cup in front of him as though it would be a barrier between him and my wrath.

"Relax! I saw it at the Halloween party. He watched you the whole night like some sort of obsessive stalker-type, which is really not normal for him."

Somewhere during this conversation I had developed a twinge behind my right eye--the beginnings of a headache--and shook my head at Emmett's statement. Obsessive stalker? Please. "Then why does he keep treating me like I'm something stuck to the bottom of his shoe?"

"Because Edward has no idea how to relate to a woman." Emmett finished off the entire cup of punch in one gulp and crushed the plastic in his hand before tossing it into the trash can. "Man has some serious people issues."

"Like?" I waited for him to elaborate. Emmett hesitated for a moment and then shook his head, and I fought back the urge to scream at him. Why wouldn't anyone TALK to me about this?

"Not my story to tell. Besides, you two will have to have it out one of these days, or else the rest of us are going to go crazy."

"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically, tossing my empty cup into the trash. Emmett patted my shoulder awkwardly and headed off in the direction of a group of his players, who looked like they were in the beginning stages of an argument with several other students.

Just as I was about to wander away from the safety of the punchbowl, I saw Alice rushing towards me, panic in her eyes.

--

Reviews are better than fluorescent punch!


	9. Finale

**Hi everyone.**

**It's been a long time, huh? And I'm afraid I don't come bearing good news.**

**I've decided not to continue **_**Waiting For Something Wonderful**_** or **_**Ab Initio**_**. I've become highly disillusioned with the Twilight fandom in general, and my personal life has taken a pretty big turn for the worst, causing me to pretty much lose all desire to write. I can't string people along any more--it's not fair to any of you and it's not fair to myself.**

**I'm really sorry. I wish I had a different post to make, one talking about the new chapter and when it'll be posted, but I've struggled to write this now for almost three months and it just isn't happening. Thank you to everyone who's written reviews, PMs, and encouraged me along the way, especially to the lovely ladies at the_gazebo—you all are fabulous and I will never listen to Celine Dion or look at Chief DILF again without thinking of you. 3**

**Without further pity partying on my part, here is the remainder of Waiting For Something Wonderful, which was always planned to have a happy ending. To sum up the ending: Edward would have gotten his shit together and Bella would have rocked his world, Alice and Jasper's wedding was going to be fabulous, and Rosalie and Emmett had sex in the bathroom during Alice's Halloween party. :P Rosalie was Edward's first friend in college and they dated for a bit, hence the kiss at the play, but they were no longer in a relationship well before Edward ever met Bella. **

**The rest, read on—I've included the first part of what would have been the next chapter (so you all know why Alice was panicking, and yes, this happened to me once as a chaperone at a dance), Bella meeting Esme for the first time, and Edward's backstory.**

**Gracias, my loves. **

**-Ella**

--

Just as I was about to wander away from the safety of the punchbowl, I saw Alice rushing towards me, panic in her eyes.

"We're missing two students—Mike and Jessica checked in, but they're nowhere to be found. One of their friends said they might have snuck downstairs." The fear in Alice's voice was clear. "I'd go and look for them, but one of the sophomores is drunk and I have to call her parents. Can you go downstairs and look for them?

"Isn't Edward watching the hallways down there?" I asked, utterly confused by why this was such a big deal. "Can't he just look for them?"

"Hopefully Edward caught them by now, but if he hasn't, I need both of you to look before they get into any trouble. " Alice's expression turned grim. "Mike's father has serious clout with the administration and if something happens, it'll be bad for all of us."

Alice's panic suddenly made sense. I had learned very quickly during my first few weeks at St. Martin's that the administration bowed to the whims of the parents in most situations, and if Mike ended up doing anything stupid, his father would most certainly be in on Monday morning, demanding that we be fired for negligence. I loathed having to make decisions based on what a parent's response might be, but I didn't want to be unemployed either.

"I'll find them, don't worry," I assured Alice, giving her a small smile that seemed to somewhat calm her down. She nodded and headed back towards the crowd of students, probably to alert the other chaperones of the situation. I made my way towards the stairwell doors, hoping I could actually do what I had promised. If Mike and Jessica had decided to sneak outside instead of just downstairs, it was going to be a lot harder to find them.

The rest of the school was eerily quiet. The hum of the ventilation system and the faint bass beat from the music upstairs, mingled wit the loud echo of my footsteps off the tiled walls, made me feel like I was trapped in some sort of cliché horror movie as I checked the door of the first classroom I came across, making sure the doors were locked.

"What are you doing down here?"

I whirled around, coming face to face with a perplexed-looking Edward, who was leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I had to fight the urge to look down and blush; instead, I mimicked his crossed arms and stood my ground, ready to argue this out if necessary.

"Alice sent me—Mike and Jessica, two of the seniors, went missing from upstairs and word from their friends is that they snuck down here for some alone time."

"Hmmm," was Edward's only response as he straightened up, looking down the dimly-lit hallway as if he could already see where they had gone. "Well, we'd better look for them, shall we?" He tossed something in my direction and I caught it just in time—a silver key, the word 'Master' engraved onto the surface.

"That should get you into every classroom," he explained, holding up another key that looked identical. "You start at this end of the hall, I'll start at the other, and we'll meet in the middle."

"Good idea," I agreed, surprised at how cordial he was being. Most likely it was because it was official school business. "See you in the middle."

Edward made another "hmmm" noise in response and started down the hall. I sighed and slid the key into the lock on the first door, hoping this wouldn't take too long. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, mostly about Edward and the fact that we were (almost) completely alone down here. I'd have to be stupid not to

Four classrooms later, I flipped the light switch and was met with a horrendous shriek, coming from one of the closets.

"AAAAARGH!"

I heard footsteps and before I could turn around, Edward was suddenly beside me. "Are you alright?" he asked, not even bothering to mask the concern in his voice.

"I'm fine," I said softly, then pointed to the supply closet in the corner of the room. "But I think I found our missing couple."

Edward's expression immediately turned to stone and he marched across the room, pulling the closet door open to let Mike and Jessica tumble out onto the floor. Mike was missing his suit coat and his shirt was unbuttoned, and I saw Jessica hurriedly replace the straps of her dress before she sat up, tears welling in her eyes.

"Mr. Masen, I-" Mike began, but Edward cut him off with a glare that made me step back in surprise. Angry Edward was not a force I wanted to reckon with. It seemed Mike felt the same way; he swallowed hard and rose to his feet, holding out his hand to Jessica, who scowled at him and stood on her own.

"You two will be coming with me--I'm sure your parents are already on their way and will be all too happy to take you home with them." I could hear the barely-restrained fury in Edward's voice and almost cringed in sympathy for the two teens, who hung their heads in shame and let Edward lead them out into the hall, pausing in the doorway next to me.

"Can you go and let Alice know I'm taking them to the dean's office?" I nodded and his expression softened for just a moment, his lips quirking upwards into the briefest of smiles before his stern expression returned. "Thank you, Miss Swan."

--

**BELLA MEETS ESME**

--

"You drive a Porsche?" Flabbergasted, I stepped forward to get a closer look, noticing Alice's smug grin. "Seriously? And you ride the El to school every day?"

"Have you ever tried to park downtown? I wouldn't trust my baby with a valet either." Alice patted the hood of the car affectionately, then jerked her head in the direction of the passenger side. "Get in or we're going to be late."

Indeed we were late by ten minutes, since we hit traffic on 290, but I was still nervous as Alice pulled up in front of a low, sprawling house that had several cars already parked in the circle drive.

"Is this a restaurant?" I tried not to sound too impressed, but I was starting to think maybe I was a little bit under-dressed for the occasion. Certainly Alice would have said something if I was, though? It wouldn't be like her to not notice if I wasn't properly dressed for an occasion.

"No, silly!" Alice scoffed and pulled the car around the side of the building, parking it in front of one of three wooden garage doors. "This is my house. Well, my mom and dad's house, but still."

"Your parents live here?" That was the second time today Alice had shocked the hell out of me; I'd had a feeling her parents were rich, given her complete disregard for price tags on clothing and the black American Express card in her wallet, but I had never really considered how rich until I found myself looking up at their home in complete awe.

"Yeah, this is where they live most of the year." Alice looked nonchalant about the whole thing and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the side door. "Mom's probably in the kitchen. Come on!"

She led me through the back door into a marbled entry hall, where she took my hat and purse from me, put them both in a closet that was bigger than my bathroom, and then practically dragged me down the hall to a bright and open room that only partially resembled any kitchen I had ever seen in real life. A tall, slender brunette woman was standing in front of the stove, something that smelled an awful lot like French toast sizzling away in the frying pan in front of her.

"Mom! I brought Bella, like I promised!" Alice let go of me and bounded over to the woman, laying a kiss on her cheek. Alice's mom laughed and let go of the skillet long enough to give her daughter a hug with one arm, then looked up at me with a warm, welcoming smile.

"Bella, it's so wonderful to meet you." She held out her hand and I stepped forward to shake it, but she surprised me by pulling me into a tight hug, still smiling as she let go of me. "Please, make yourself at home. Alice, why don't you pour us some coffee?"

"'Kay." Alice grinned at me,

"Your house is beautiful, ma'am," I said, the awe evident in my tone. Alice's mom laughed and shook her head as she flipped the French toast in the pan.

"Please, call me Esme. Ma'am makes me feel like I should be playing bridge with the neighbors and investing in orthopedic shoes."

--

**EDWARD'S BACKGROUND, AS TOLD BY ESME**

--

"My older sister Elizabeth and I always had a terrible rivalry. Things came so easily to her; she was witty, beautiful, smart, and popular, and I was a frizzy-haired, painfully shy bookwork with braces and no idea how to make friends." Esme took a sip of her coffee, a faraway look in her eyes. "Elizabeth seemed to have no idea what effect her perfection had on me."

"When I was sixteen, Elizabeth was a sophomore at Northwestern, studying to be a teacher. She'd met a handsome pre-law student named Ed in one of her classes and was bringing him home for Thanksgiving since he didn't have any family in the area. When Elizabeth and her new boyfriend arrived, my jealousy only got worse—he was handsome, charming, and seemingly totally devoted to Elizabeth."

"The oddest thing happened, however. Elizabeth's boyfriend started paying attention to me; talking to me at dinner, including me in whatever they were doing, and just generally being nice. My sixteen year old self was infatuated with him. I'd never had a man pay so much attention to me before, and Elizabeth never said anything against it, so I thought everything was fine."

"Looking back, I really should have seen it coming, what happened next. One weekend, when Elizabeth brought her boyfriend home for a visit, he snuck into my room late one night and asked me if I'd ever been kissed before. When I said no, he asked me if I'd like to try. One thing lead to another…and well, you can guess what happened."

Esme was silent for a long moment, and Alice and I sat quietly, not wanting to interrupt her thoughts. "I was so happy. Yes, it was painful and he wasn't terribly interested in making me feel good, but I didn't know any better. When Elizabeth said he would be spending Christmas with us, I was ecstatic. I thought I could steal him away and make him my boyfriend, and that I'd finally get one over on my sister."

"But Ed never said a word to me the entire time he was there, and Christmas morning, he proposed to Elizabeth in front of our entire family. I was heartbroken and seriously considered telling Elizabeth what he'd done, just to spite her, but I knew no one would believe me and Elizabeth would just chalk it up to me trying to ruin her day with my jealousy. So I kept quiet and spent the rest of the holiday in my room, faking sick."

"I swore I would never speak to either of them ever again, and I might have kept that promise if I hadn't noticed sometime later that I'd missed several periods in a row. One harrowing trip to the pharmacy later, I had my answer: I was pregnant. Terrified of my mother's reaction, I went to the only person I could think of—my sister."

"To her credit, Elizabeth never scolded me or judged me; she just hugged me and told me she would make everything okay again. A week later, she and I sat on the couch with my parents and Elizabeth told them that I was pregnant—and that she and her then-fiancé would raise the baby. I suppose then she might have suspected something, but if she didn't know at that point, it would painfully obvious when my son was born. He had his father's green eyes." Esme paused, then continued on in a voice so soft I had to strain to hear it. "Elizabeth never said anything. She just took my son back to her home and named him after his 'new' daddy."

Suddenly, the implications became clear and I gasped aloud, almost upsetting my glass of orange juice. "Edward. Edward was your son."

Esme nodded, her brown eyes filled with sadness. "It was so hard for me to part with him—even with the reminder of what his father had done, I loved him dearly. And I didn't realize at the time what was happening to me. All I knew was that I felt life wasn't worth living anymore, that without my son I was lost. So I jumped off the roof of our house on my eighteenth birthday."

I couldn't help the gasp that escaped me and glanced sideways at Alice, who was staring at her mother with wide eyes. "You never told me," she said softly, reaching over to take her mother's hand in her own. "About the roof."

"I didn't want to frighten you," Esme admitted, patting her daughter's hand gently. "It wasn't an important part of the story for you." She glanced over at my teary-eyed expression and reached for my hand with her free one, squeezing it tightly. "Don't, girls. It was a long time ago and no one really knew what post-partum depression was. And I survived, didn't I?"

"Was that the broken legs, then?" Alice asked, sniffling as she released her mother's hand. I held on for just a minute longer, wanting to somehow convey without words how much I felt for Esme at that moment, and she smiled at me, letting me know that she had gotten my message.

"Yes, that was how I broke both of my legs. Seems I didn't realize that jumping off the lowest point of the roof wouldn't quite do the trick. My mother found me and took me to the hospital, where I spent several long, painful hours having my legs re-set and put in casts by a resident. I spent the night in the hospital bawling my eyes out when I realized what I had almost done, which was when the resident who had set my leg came into my room to check on me. He ended up spending the rest of his night talking to me, well after his shift was over, and by the time he had to leave to get a few hours sleep before his next shift, I felt a little better about everything." Esme smiled, the first genuinely happy smile I'd seen since the story began. "He left me his phone number when I was discharged, and we started dating as soon as I could walk on my own again."

"My dad," Alice murmured, grinning at her mom. "They told me that story all the time when I was little—minus the reason mom was in the hospital, of course."

Esme nodded, taking a long sip of what had to be cold coffee. She grimaced at the taste and Alice stood, fetching the coffee pot from the counter. After her mug was full again, Esme continued. "While I was dating Carlisle, things got worse between Elizabeth and Ed. They'd been married shortly before Edward was born, but Ed continued to see other women on the side, and made no effort to hide it from Elizabeth. My perfect sister was starting to become unraveled, raising a baby that wasn't hers, with a cheating husband who didn't come home some nights. By the time Carlisle and I were married, they weren't even on speaking terms, even if they were still living in the same home."

"And then one night, a young woman showed up at Elizabeth's door with a baby in her arms, demanding to see Ed. It turned out I wasn't the only victim of his infidelity to be left with a more permanent reminder." Esme's expression turned cold. "Ed refused to acknowledge the child and Elizabeth decided she'd had enough. She took Edward to my mother's for safekeeping, and went back to pack up their things, intending on moving out and filing for divorce. Except that Ed was waiting for her when she got there, and she made the mistake of confronting him about what he had done, to both me and this other girl. Instead of having a rational discussion, Ed threw her down the stairs and broke her neck." Esme fell silent, a tear sliding down her cheek, and I felt my stomach clench in horror. "When he realized she was dead, he took the pistol he kept in his bedside drawer, went to the young woman's house, and shot her and her son before he turned the gun on himself."

There was a long silence in the kitchen, broken only by Alice's sniffling and the ticking of the clock.

"Edward was only six. He didn't understand what was going on or why his mother wasn't coming back. He and Ed had never been terribly close, so that was less of a hardship for him, but Elizabeth had loved Edward fiercely." Esme swirled her spoon around in her coffee aimlessly, as if she simply needed something to do with her hands. "My mother was getting on in years and couldn't take care of a toddler on her own, so Carlisle and I agreed to raise him. And eventually Edward settled into our home and seemed to get better; when Alice was born, he even called her his sister. But Carlisle and I agreed that the truth about his real mother and what happened to Elizabeth would have to wait until he was much older. And I suppose we tried to forget all about it. By the time Edward got to high school, it was like nothing had ever happened. He played baseball with Carlisle, took piano lessons until his teachers swore the couldn't teach him anything more, and terrorized Alice's first boyfriend—all the things you would expect from a normal child."

"Until the Europe trip." Alice interjected quietly, startling me. I'd almost forgotten she was a part of this story.

"The Europe trip," Esme repeated, her smile fading. "Did you know you need your birth certificate to get a passport?"

"Oh my God," I whispered, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Edward saw you listed as his birth mother, didn't he."

Esme nodded. "He was eighteen, so we let him get the birth certificate on his own, not even thinking about what he would see. When he got home…I had never seen him so angry. He threw the envelope in my face and demanded to know what was going on. So I sat him down and told him the whole story—my one night with his father, Elizabeth's choice to raise him as her own, his father's infidelity, and eventually how both of his parents died. And then Edward just…shut down." Esme faltered, her fingers clenched around the spoon in her coffee, and Alice continued, coming around the table to put an arm around her mother's shoulders.

"He packed up all his things, took all of the money he had in his savings account, and disappeared for three weeks." Alice pressed a kiss against her mother's forehead, her expression serious. "When he did finally contact us—and Dad spent the entire time trying to find him—he told us that when he felt better about Mom and Dad lying to him, that maybe he'd come back."

"He was enrolled at Dartmouth for the fall, but ended up going to UIC instead, since he could pay his own way. I got a letter every now and then—he never wrote one to Mom and Dad, but he knew I was letting them read the ones he sent me, so they were brief and basically summed up that he was fine and that when he was ready, he would come back. The next time we saw him was my high school graduation. He didn't say a word to Mom and Dad, just handed me a present, kissed me on the cheek, and disappeared again."

"We got a postcard when he graduated from UIC," Esme said quietly, taking a deep breath before her shoulders straightened again. "And another one when he enrolled at Juilliard for their master's program. Shortly after Alice graduated from college, he got a position with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and moved back here, but still didn't contact us. We went to see him play, even waited by the stage door afterwards, but he walked right past us and didn't say a word."

"That was the last straw for me," Alice interjected, squeezing her mom's shoulders once again before she sat down next to her. "I was dating Jasper by then and he had some friends at the CSO, so I managed to bully and threaten one of them into giving me his address. I showed up at his apartment one night and yelled at him for a solid hour and a half, about what an immature jerk he was being and how he needed to either get some help or talk to our parents before I beat the crap out of him."

I tried to picture tiny Alice screaming at Edward and tried to hide a grin—Alice saw it and grinned back at me. "Yeah, it was pretty ridiculous. He got all indignant and told me when he was ready, he would talk to 'those two' and that I should keep my nose out of his business until then. I told him that until he decided to put on his big boy pants, I didn't want him in my life either, and I walked out. Maybe six months later, I started working at St. Mark's, and the piano teacher who was there at the time decided to take an artist-in-residence position at some music college in France. And to my utter shock, who shows up on the first day of school to replace him but my wayward brother, who was bullied into taking the job by his conductor."

"Alice called me from her office that morning and I nearly fell out of my chair in shock." Esme shook her head, standing up to empty the once-again-cold cup of coffee into the sink. "I don't know what that man said to Edward to get him to take the job, but whatever it was, it managed to not only get Edward to take a teaching position, but to eventually reach out and contact Carlisle and I."

Alice and her mother exchanged significant looks, which confused me for a moment. "So he starts teaching and contacts you, just like that?"

"No, it took him almost a year of teaching before he ever said a word to anyone but Alice. In fact, he only started talking to us about two months ago." There was significance to Esme's words that I couldn't quite place, but I nodded, tracing my finger around the rim of my empty glass.

"So, where does Edward hating me fit into all of this, then?"

"Sweetheart, Edward doesn't hate you." Esme smiled mysteriously. "When did you start teaching at St. Mark's?"

"Two months ago, but—" I stopped, my jaw dropping when I realized the significance of Esme's earlier statement. "He came back to you after he met me?"

Alice was grinning now, practically bouncing in her seat. "I told you that you had nothing to worry about! This is the most alive we've seen Edward since he was eighteen. He's stopped yelling at his students all the time, he's talking to Mom and Dad again, he's even been cordial to Jasper, which is a total first."

"You woke up something in him, Bella," Esme's voice was soft and kind, colored with a muted hope that made a lump rising in my throat. This woman, who had lost so much—somehow, I had brought her son back to her. And all I did was run him over in a hallway. "I know he seems standoffish and rude, but trust me, he'll get better. He's been cutting himself off from feeling anything for nearly a decade."


End file.
